I don't know if I really like this whole "being an adult" thing. It's not the big decisions or responsibilities that kill you. Those seem to be mostly out of your hands, after all. All you can do with them is try your best, and leave the rest to God. Or fate or chance or whatever you happen to believe in, I suppose. It's the little things that break you. You feel as if you're finally making ends meet, and that one bill throws everything off. Or one stray comment throws a giant wrench in a relationship that you depend on. Or you can't find your keys, which makes you late for work on that one important day.
It's frustrating when you realize that it's those stupid events that don't really matter that are really driving you mad. We've got so many big things to worry about, and somehow I always end up chewing on the insignificant, as if being blind to the big problems makes them not matter.
"Don't sweat the little things" is easy to say. Implementation is not going so well for me, however.
===============================================================================
Liz blearily opened her eyes and raised her head off Max's shoulder. Max stirred as she moved and opened his eyes a bit himself. His lips twitched upward as they shared a small look. She was about to lean in for a kiss when she noticed the disturbance that had wakened her in the first place.
"No, Michael, that's not what I'm saying!" Maria hissed. She was keeping her voice down, but the anger and frustration came through loud and clear. "I'm saying we should start over. Give it another try."
"I don't know that I want to." Liz noted their body language had changed markedly-they must have been arguing for a while now. They were staring into the seats ahead of them so hard Liz fleetingly wondered if they might burst into flame. Michael sat on the end of the seat near the door, practically falling off he hugged the edge so close. Maria was plastered to the wall of the van on the other side of the door, her arms crossed over her chest. Michael looked out the window. Liz had to strain to hear his next muttered comment. "I don't think I can deal with your ‘on-again, off-again' attitude."
Maria evidently had better hearing than Liz...she gasped in rage at his comment. "What!?! Me? I'm the one who constantly gave up my hopes, my dreams, my plans-all for your crazy alien crap! And this is the thanks I get?"
Liz looked at Max. He was still looking at her, and she could tell from his absorbed gaze that he hadn't heard a word of the argument unfolding before him. She opened her mouth to say something, but he laid a finger across her lips. He whispered a nearly silent "...shhhh..." and pulled her toward him. Liz easily read the intention in his eyes and closed her own with a delicious shiver, then waited for the kiss she knew was coming. Maria's voice faded into a faint buzzing that she didn't even notice in passing as Max's lips met hers.
*****
"Oh my GOD!" Isabelle groaned. Kyle finally stopped his "om"ing and looked over at her.
"What's wrong?"
"Won't they ever stop?" Isabelle sternly squelched her sudden urge to blow something up as the argument directly behind her head reached a new crescendo.
"What? Oh!" Kyle craned his neck around and observed the heated exchange for a few moments, then turned back around. "How long's that been going on?" he asked.
Isabelle ground her teeth for a second. "At least forty-five minutes! I'm going insane. If someone doesn't stop them, I may have to kill one, maybe both of them!" Her fingers squeezed the steering wheel so tightly they hurt.
"Hm! Forty-five minutes?" Kyle glanced at his watch. "Cool! I didn't feel like nearly that much time had passed!"
"With the two lovebirds back there necking, this pair of idiots behind me quarrelling like children, and you mooing backward, I was about to drive this stupid vehicle off the road on the off chance something interesting might happen."
Kyle's eyes lit up. "Necking?" Kyle started to turn around again, but Isabelle brought her right hand up and turned his face toward the front again.
"Oh no you don't! It's bad enough I can't help catching glimpses in the rearview mirror."
"Hmph." Kyle looked at Isabelle out of the corner of his eyes. "Why'd you interrupt me, then?"
"Surely not to let you ogle my brother and his new wife! I'm bored stiff. Maybe I was exaggerating about driving the car off the road, but I will lose it soon, I swear. Think of something interesting to talk about."
"I can't believe you!" Maria shrieked suddenly. "I told you nothing happened with him! We're just friends from that songwriter's workshop!" Isabelle did all she could to shut her voice out.
Kyle scratched the side of his face. "Hmmm...okay." He stared at the passing scenery for a little while, then turned back to Isabelle. "How about a question?"
"FINE. Whatever. What's your question?"
"When I bring a bad transmission to you, how do you tell what's wrong? I mean, you just touch it. I have to perform diagnostics and tests to figure out what's wrong. How do you know what to fix?"
Isabelle looked at him. That was actually a rather interesting question. "You know...I can't really explain...it's sort of like I feel what's wrong, what's different, and then make it right."
"Well then, how do you know what's right? Do you often root around in working machinery so you can find what's broken?"
"No, you're the one who left me!" Michael bellowed. "I came out of the pod chamber, gave up going back to Antar to be with you. And then you dumped me!"
Isabelle forced her mind to stay with Kyle's question. "That's really interesting. I've never thought about it much before. It's not that I constantly look around in working cars so I can fix broken parts. It's more..." Isabelle cocked her head as she searched for the right way to put it. "It's almost as if I can tell where machinery is broken because it causes...well...pain."
"So, like...you feel what's wrong as pain?"
Isabelle shrugged. "Almost. That's not exactly right, but close. I can tell when something's the way it's supposed to be, and when it's not."
Kyle looked intrigued. "Do you mean there's an intrinsic ‘rightness' to working machinery that you can feel?" He looked outside, then turned back to her. "Do you suppose Max does the same thing with people when he heals them?"
"If I recall, Michael, you were one that said you wanted me dead! Wanting to pursue my dreams pretty much pales in comparison to that, doesn't it?"
Isabelle shook her head. "No, I don't think so. When he healed Clayton, Clayton turned into Max, in a way. I think he kinda makes whatever feels wrong look like him inside." Kyle looked vaguely disgusted by her comment, and she laughed a little. "I guess that's why Liz has these new powers."
He sighed. "I'm about due for them myself, if the theory bears out." He held out a hand and wiggled his fingers, pulling a jovial expression onto his features. "So. Do you suppose I'll become the best mechanic in the world?"
Isabelle felt a pang of guilt as she realized she hadn't even considered that he would probably start exhibiting powers soon. She knew that the appearance of Liz's powers had been difficult and dangerous. She looked at him. "Are you feeling anything weird or strange along those lines?"
He shook his head. "As you can imagine, I paid attention to what happened to Liz when she told me about her new powers." He turned his hands over and examined them. "No random melting of objects or spontaneous flames yet, and no green lightning. Don't worry," he assured her, "I'm keepin' an eye out. If I follow Liz's schedule, it could happen any time now."
Isabelle suddenly saw that a lot of his surface cheerful demeanor was a mask, and he was just as frightened and frustrated as the rest of them. She reached out to put her hand on his shoulder, but Michael's voice, barely below a shout, interrupted before her fingers reached Kyle. "I told you I'm not going to apologize for that! Ever since we told you what we are, our lives have been falling apart! Maybe it wasn't the best suggestion in the world, but it would have made our lives easier than they are now!" His voice cracked with anger.
"Oh, like our lives have been great since you brought us in! My life's been an absolute disaster for the last three years! And Liz's too! Don't you dare try to excuse that attitude, it's that sort of thinking that led one of you to kill Alex!" Maria suddenly clamped her hands over her mouth, tears running down her face.
Isabelle gasped at that, and felt her own eyes tearing up at the mention of Alex, and she swore under her breath as she tried to blink them clear. The hand that had been reaching out to comfort Kyle rose back to the steering wheel, and she gripped the wheel with all her strength, as if that might give her self control. She noticed movement out of the corner of her eyes, and saw that the new level of anger in the argument before them had finally snapped Max and Liz out of their own little world, and back into the real one. Liz's eyes were wide with shock, and Max was looking down at the floor, still holding Liz close to him.
Michael's voice was quiet, but the rage was somehow even more evident. "I didn't kill Alex, Maria. If you remember, I was the one that helped you and Liz find the truth about where he was when everyone else refused." Isabelle saw Max close his eyes and bring the hand that wasn't holding Liz to him up to his forehead. "But saving Liz brought her, you, Alex, Kyle, Valenti, and half the fucking town in on our secret!"
"I see." Maria was hard to understand, her voice was so thick with tears. "It would be better if Liz was dead. Well, killing Alex didn't solve anything, so-"
"STOP IT!" Isabelle screamed. She was so incensed by their conversation that she turned around to look at them. Tears were streaming unchecked down her face, and she could barely see. "Just shut up! I'm sick to death of your arguing! And leave Alex out of it!"
"Um...Isabelle?"
"Why don't you two grow up for once? We're all feeling pretty crappy in a lot of different ways right now. We don't need-"
"Isabelle? Um...could you...?" "WHAT IS IT, KYLE!" Isabelle was so angry she felt as if her head was going to explode.
"Maybe you wanna watch the road?"
Isabelle looked forward and saw that the right wheels of the van were completely off the road. "Shit!" She jerked the steering wheel to the left and got back in the lane. An uncomfortable silence hung over the van. Isabelle felt a little bad that she'd lost her temper so completely, but was so grateful for the silence that she decided not to interrupt it.
The silence thickened over the next half hour, until it felt impossible to say anything. Isabelle jumped as she heard someone clear their throat. "It looks like we've started to get close to L.A. We should look for a place to stay." Isabelle caught a glimpse of Max's face in the rearview mirror as he continued. "We have a lot of plans to make, and things to discuss. We've all be running from our problems for a long time now. I think it'd probably be a good idea to sit down and discuss how we're going to solve them."
*****
Liz grabbed the last slice of pepperoni pizza. "I can't believe you guys! I take the time to put out all the pizza boxes and get napkins for everyone, and there's only one slice of pepperoni left!" She took a bite, then shook her finger at the others around the table. "You're all a bunch of barbarians!" She caught a glimpse of Max shrugging and smiling out of the corner of her eye. "And you! You can't even stick up for you wife?"
"Sure I can," Max muttered around his own slice of pizza, "but I don't really think you need me to."
"Mhmm..." Liz didn't look too convinced. Maria was eating on Liz's other side, taking small, angry bites. She hadn't said a word since they'd entered the room to wait for their pizza. Next to her Kyle laughed at little too heartily at Liz and Max's banter. Michael sat on his other side, scarfing down his food with a single-minded determination that was somehow frightening. The tension between Maria and Michael was so palpable everyone else at the table felt obliged to compensate for it. Kyle's eyes kept moving from one side to the other to look at the two of them, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Isabelle was quiet, comfortable next to her brother. After a few seconds of fragile silence, she swallowed and spoke up.
"So, about solving our problems..."
Kyle shot her an annoyed look. "Subtle," he muttered.
She tossed her hair and ignored him. "We've got so many, it's hard to know where to start."
Max's face sobered. He put the crust of his last slice of pizza back on his plate and leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table and crossing his arms over each other. Liz kept eating, snatching a piece of the deluxe pizza before it could be finished off too. "Yeah, I know. It's depressing when you start making a list." He sighed and brought a hand up to his forehead as he thought. "We've come to the L.A. area hoping to hide due to the sheer number of people here. It will work for a short while, but not forever. We can't stay below the FBI's radar indefinitely."
Isabelle nodded. "Yeah. So, what do we do first?"
"Well, I would guess we first have to decide on what we ultimately want. I want to get a job, work, and support myself and my family honestly, and in safety. You?" He looked at Liz.
Liz held a hand up to her mouth and finished chewing her latest bite of pizza, then swallowed it quickly. "Me? Well...I know it's not really possible, but I would love to go to college. I still want to study biology. Considering the sort of situation we're all in, I think some knowledge of biology would be more useful now than ever." She looked around the table and shrugged. It was depressing to think about her failed interview for Harvard, to think of even more dreams, dashed to the ground. She closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. She felt Max reach out under the table and squeeze her hand. She opened her eyes and smiled at him.
Max smiled back, but his brow was slightly wrinkled with worry. Liz repressed a sudden desire to smooth it away. Max took too much responsibility on himself sometimes, and she felt bad about adding more. His gaze then wandered the table. He shied away from asking Maria or Michael, and his eyes settled on Isabelle. Liz smothered a sigh of relief. Neither of them appeared ready to speak calmly yet. "Iz? What would you like to do?"
"I'm with Liz, actually. I'd like to continue my education." She sighed. "But first I want to feel safe. It's hard to take exams seriously when the government could be coming after you at any moment."
"Kyle?"
Kyle kept chewing for a minute, thinking. "I don't really know what I want to do." He laughed nervously. "I spend a lot of time worrying about when I'm going to start zapping things. I haven't been thinking very far ahead lately." He looked down and began eating his pizza again.
Max looked askance at Michael. "How about you?"
"I don't have plans for myself. I want to get the FBI off our backs. Then I'll make plans for a life."
Maria's eyes were closed. "We can't just live like criminals the rest of our lives. Either find a way to escape from their notice forever, or somehow convince them we're not dangerous." Maria didn't look very hopeful about either option.
"Or we could destroy them!" Michael interjected.
"Yeah, like Nasedo did? It didn't work out so well the first time, did it?"
"Well, we just didn't do a good enough job! We'll have to destroy everyone who could hurt us. No half measures."
"Sure, and after we kill every single FBI agent in the country, we can take over government. Hell, even that's a half-measure. Let's take over the world! Look! A continent for each of us, with one left over!"
"You know that's not what I-"
Liz stood up, placing her hands on the table as she leaned forward. "GUYS! Please!" she shouted, her voice cracking. She cleared her throat and continued. "Look, that sort of stuff isn't getting us anywhere." She took a deep breath. "I think-I think we've to one thing to do first, and then everything else can follow from that. We have to establish new identities. Right now, even a traffic ticket exposes us to serious danger. That's not an acceptable position. We need identities, jobs, a place to live, legally owned vehicles, credit cards...all that stuff. And I'm not sure how to do that." She looked down at the table. "Max and I have another problem...our fingerprints are on file with the police already. Anything that requires fingerprinting is a problem for us."
Michael was nodding. "Yeah, that's true. We've already talked about it a little. We're young enough that a lot of it won't be a problem. It's easy to explain why we don't have an established credit history or much of a resume. But we need new names, social security numbers, driver's licenses and school records."
"Michael, can you change Max and Liz's fingerprints for them? You told me you changed yours once, that Nasedo showed you how."
He looked at Isabelle and shrugged. "I dunno if I can change someone else's; never tried it. I suppose I could, if given time to practice. That doesn't solve our other problems here, though."
"No," Max agreed, "but it's a start. If we don't get started, we'll never get anywhere."
"What about college?" Liz asked, sitting down again. "I mean, I can't have my old school record. Application procedures are pretty tough for the good universities...we can't just walk in and enroll. There are interviews, records to be sent, millions of forms to fill out..."
Isabelle shrugged. "I don't necessarily like it, Liz, but you probably won't be able to get into a prestigious college. Neither can I. Not for undergraduate work, anyway. But we could in to some of the less stringent state colleges, I'm sure. We are some of the best forgers in the world, after all." She smiled and wiggled her fingers a little.
"I don't see why you even want to go, personally," Michael commented.
"Oh, I think it's so important! There's so much I need to learn!" Liz exclaimed. "And biology could be really useful too, Michael. Just think...we don't really know what's happening with me, with my powers. You saw me, I created a shield, like Max-"
"It was not like Max's. I could barely tell it was there!"
"Well, it was similar to Max's. But that was tied to him being king, remember? It was weaker when he lost the seal." Michael looked uncomfortable at her reminder of that time. "So how come I have it? Is it because we're married? Or because he changed me when he healed me? And what's happening to me, anyway? Am I part alien too, now?" Liz gestured expansively, rapidly becoming caught up in all the questions and theories that always seemed to fill her head. "And what about our powers? We don't understand them. The FBI and Khivar's group both had ways of blocking them. Can we prevent that somehow? Or somehow enhance our powers? Don't you see? There's so much-"
"All right, all right, girlfriend, you can calm down now. We all see." Maria's lips twitched a little. Liz felt embarrassed at her outburst, but was happy to see Maria coming out of her blue funk.
"Sorry...it's just..." She shrugged and gave a little laugh, at a loss of where to go.
Max chuckled under his breath. "I think we all see how passionate you are about it, Liz. And you're right, we still don't know enough about ourselves and our capabilities. It would be great if you could start answering some of our questions. But you're also right about our identities. That has to come first. Anything else we do can follow from that."
"So, what do we need to establish an identity?" Michael asked. "We need social security numbers for a job, right? Driver's licenses. Hmmm...school records too, at least if Liz and Isabelle wanna continue school."
"I wish we could contact Dad. He'd have an idea of what we'd need, I bet," Isabelle sighed. "If we want licenses, I think the easiest thing would be to find out what you need to get a driver's license here in California...if we present the correct papers, we can get legal licenses. That would be best, I think."
"What about names? It's going to be difficult to call you Henry, for example," Liz commented, looking at Max. "Can we just make up our own? Or are we going to have to find the social security numbers of people who are dead and take on their names?" She shivered. "That would be really creepy."
Max scratched his head. "I think that's how it's done, you have to find a number that's already been assigned. The names aren't a big deal, though. We could change our names after getting the false identity so we can keep our given names or nicknames, at least." He looked around the table. "Anything else?"
Isabelle raised her hand up to her mouth as she yawned. "I'm tired from driving so long today. I need to get to bed soon, before I collapse right here."
Kyle nodded in agreement. "Yeah. We have an idea of what we need to do now, anyway. First we need to find out what paperwork is needed to get a new California driver's license and then get some social security numbers of the right sex and age for each of us." He smiled. "It's a start, at least."
"Yeah, it's more direction than we've had in a while. Let's get some sleep." Michael began to stand, and Isabelle and Kyle followed suit. "We can start figuring how we're going to do this tomorrow."
Max nodded. "Sure. I guess we can all use some rest." He pushed his chair back from the table. "I'm gonna go get a soda from the machine out front. Anybody else want something? Liz?"
Liz shook her head. "No, that's all right."
Max, Michael, Isabelle and Kyle all filed out of the room. Isabelle playfully pushed Max as they walked out. "Don't think you're always going to get the suite, Max. I think it's going to be Maria's and my turn soon!"
Liz didn't hear Max's retort as the door closed behind them. Maria was still sitting at the table, staring into space. Liz walked over behind her and rubbed her shoulders. "Wanna talk about it, Maria?"
Maria sighed and closed her eyes. "I don't know. I don't think Michael and I will ever resolve things, you know? With our lives so screwed up, we just don't have a chance. Maybe after everything's solved..."
"No, Maria! You don't know if we'll ever be safe. If we'll ever finally solve our problems. Maybe you're not sure what you want right now, but that just means you have to decide. You can't put off the decision, because that's the same as making one. When Max died, and I realized I'd run from him, hoping time would solve our problems, that hurt me more than the fact that he was gone. I'm so fortunate that I got another chance with him. But we can't count on those kinds of miracles all the time, Maria."
Maria sighed and tilted her head from right to left. "You know, I think you're right. I have to think clearly about what I want from him, and what I'm willing to give." She turned until she caught a glimpse of her best friend from the corner of her eye. "You're a great friend, Liz." Liz smiled as she continued rubbing Maria's back. Maria winced. "You know what else?"
"No, what?"
"You give terrible massages!"
Liz laughed and dropped her hands. "Sorry."
"You've really gotta work on that, you know?" She elbowed Liz in the ribs. "It could come in handy some day."
Liz shoved her back, a smile dancing on her lips. "Stop that! Let's just clean this mess up, okay?"
"Look! There's a few slices of the deluxe and the cheese pizzas left. Mmmm-mmm! Breakfast!" Maria waved a slice enticingly under Liz's nose.
Liz pulled a face. "Yeah, cold pizza, the breakfast of champions. Ick." She shoved the leftovers in one box and stuck them in the room refrigerator. "C'mon! Stop fooling around and help me!"
"Okay, okay."
*****
Kyle was relaxing on the bed, his eyes closed and his arms spread wide as he lay on his back on top of the covers. Michael pointed over his shoulder toward the bathroom. "Shower's open, Kyle."
"...nnnng...." Kyle groaned, squeezing his eyes together tighter. "...nt wanna move..."
Michael shrugged. "Whatever." He sat down on the edge of bed and rubbed his hands over his face. His mind was clogged with roiling emotions and confusion. It was nice to have a direction planned, for once, but his problems with Maria made him feel restless and tired, all at once. Michael wasn't even sure why that fight in the van had started. He just knew it'd grown to monstrous proportions very quickly. It's as if she set out to drive him mad. He felt guilty about what he'd said when he was king for a day, but he'd already apologized. How many times did a guy have to say he was sorry? It's not as if she never said or did anything that hurt him.
The more he thought about Maria, the greater his urge to pace the room and kick things. He was the one who'd been willing to give up Antar for her. She was the one who'd dropped him for her music, and then dropped the music too! And now she'd no doubt blame that stupid decision on him as well! He growled angrily and punched his fist into his palm. Dammit!
Michael jumped suddenly as someone knocked on his door. Kyle groaned softly, but didn't move. Michael cursed and walked over to the door. "Who is it?'
"Michael! Open up!" Maria's strident voice came through loud and clear. Michael groaned and obeyed. Maria came in, closed the door behind her and whirled around to face him. "We have to talk." She looked around Michael's body at Kyle in the far bed. "You. Out."
Kyle opened one eye and looked at her. "This is my room. You get out."
"KYLE!!!"
Kyle grumbled something under his breath and dragged himself to his feet. "Don't take too long, okay? I'm really tired."
"NOW!" She pointed at the door and stomped her foot. Michael winced at her tone. This would probably not be pleasant. Kyle exited the room, and Maria closed the door behind him.
"You won't take too long, right?" Kyle asked faintly from the other side. Maria ignored him and turned her gaze on Michael. "Right? Maria?" Michael swallowed. Not pleasant at all. "Maria?"
*****
Isabelle opened her eyes. Something had awakened her. She looked over and saw that Maria's bed was empty. There was a knock at the door. That must be the noise that had disturbed her. Maybe Maria had forgotten her key or something. Isabelle rolled out of bed and walked over to the door. To her surprise, Kyle was on the other side, wearing an apologetic expression.
"Sorry, Isabelle, but Maria kicked me out of my room. Could I just stay in here and get some sleep?"
"Oh, Kyle," Isabelle tried to restrain a yawn, but failed. "No, Kyle, I'm too tired. Look, I'm sure Maria won't take long. It's not like they're able to hold conversation for long without one of them storming out of the room. Just give ‘em a minute." Kyle sighed and nodded.
"Sure."
Isabelle closed the door and yawned again. She couldn't believe she'd fallen asleep. She'd just meant to rest for a moment on the bed. Ugh. She was still in her clothes. She wrinkled her nose and walked over to the bathroom. At least she should get a shower in before falling asleep. She turned the shower on and let it warm up while she undressed. She grabbed the ridiculously small shampoo and conditioner bottles and got in the shower. As the hot water ran down her skin she closed her eyes and tried to empty her mind. She tried to be nothing but that warm water, something without thought, emotion or memory. But images of Jesse kept flashing on her closed eyelids and haunting her. She couldn't continue like this. She sighed as she grabbed the soap and began lathering it. She hadn't dreamwalked him yet. She couldn't believe what a coward she was. How stupid. How selfish. She had to make sure he was all right, and maybe do what she could to help him get over some of the pain she'd caused him. She closed her eyes as she rinsed herself off. Her whole life, especially her love life, had been an absolute disaster. Even her past life was nothing but a great tragedy. If only she'd retained her memories of her time as Velondra, maybe she would have, at the very least, learned from her stupid mistakes.
Isabelle furiously shampooed her hair as the self-recriminations echoed yet again in her mind. She was nothing but a traitor. She's betrayed Max and Michael in their past life on Antar. She'd betrayed Alex, and Grant, and Jesse here. What a useless excuse for a woman. She turned off the shower and groped around for the towel. Well. She had no more excuses. She would dreamwalk Jesse tonight. She would face her fears, and do what she could to repair any damage she had done to Jesse. It was the very least she could do. That decided, Isabelle put on her pajamas and wrapped the towel around her wet hair.
Isabelle looked over at Maria's bed as she exited the bathroom. To her surprise it was empty. Maria hadn't come in yet. She walked over to the door and yanked it open, then sighed in exasperation. Kyle was snoring softly, sitting with his back against the wall near the door to Isabelle's room. Isabelle knelt by his side. "Oh, all right. Kyle." She shook him gently; he snorted and looked around, confused. "Kyle. C'mon, you can sleep in here." She helped pull him to his feet. He stumbled into the room, and Isabelle led him to Maria's bed. He collapsed on it with a happy sigh and was asleep within seconds. Isabelle shook her head with a smile. Poor Kyle.
Isabelle sat on the edge of her own bed and pulled her wallet out of her purse. Inside it was a photo of Jesse and her, hugging. She felt tears began to leak out of her eyes, and angrily dashed them away. Why couldn't they have stayed that way. It had been so wonderful. She put the wallet and her purse back on the bedside table and lay down in bed. She placed her index finger on Jesse's face in the photo and closed her eyes. She trembled with fear as she sank down into the dreamwalk.
Isabelle blinked and waved her hands in front of her in an attempt to disperse the heavy mist that surrounded her. "Jesse?" she called, looking around. "Jesse? Are you there?" It was difficult and confusing in here, almost as bad as when she had dreamwalked with Max when he was in the white room. That thought sent another thrill of fear down her spine. Was Jesse in trouble? She concentrated with all her willpower, trying to pierce this strange fog. "Jesse! Where are you?!?" She walked forward, and suddenly, in the time between one step and the next, the mist pulled up, revealing a very grey and dingy version of their old living room. Isabelle looked up and saw that the fog hadn't retreated very far; it still obscured her view of the ceiling. Jesse was slouching on the couch, his head resting on the armrest and his eyes were closed. Isabelle swallowed and took a hesitant step forward. Maybe he'd been difficult to reach because he wasn't sleeping very deeply. Maybe it had nothing to do with her.
She knelt in front of him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Jesse? Jesse? Can you hear me?"
She felt him jump under her hand. His head jerked up and he looked around wildly for a second before he saw Isabelle. "Wha-? Who? Isabelle? Is that you?" He squinted, as if he had a hard time seeing her. "That's you Isabelle, isn't it?"
Isabelle smiled at the sound of his voice. Her hand ran down his arm until she reached his hand. She wrapped her fingers around his. "Yes, Jesse. It's me. How are you?"
"Isabelle!" Jesse leaned forward and pulled her to him in a hug. Isabelle laughed under her breath in amazement and hugged him back, holding him with all her strength. She felt an upwelling of hope. Maybe...maybe he didn't hate her. "Oh God! You're back!"
"Well Jesse, not really. See, you're dreaming."
"What?" Isabelle hugged him tighter. Her cheek rubbed against the fabric of his shirt as she spoke. She only wished this were real. "You're dreaming. I can use my powers to enter your dreams."
"Powers?" Jesse let go of her, and she heard confusion enter his voice. "What are you talking about?"
Isabelle backed up and looked at his face carefully, her hands still resting on his shoulders. "I know it's hard to think clearly in your dreams, Jesse, but concentrate. Remember, I'm part alien. I have some...unusual powers." Jesse was now staring at her blankly. She brought one hand up to his cheek. "Jesse? Honey?"
He blinked. "NO! No, you're wrong. You're just normal. Just like everyone else." He laughed nervously. "I don't know what you're talking about." He turned his head and looked at the wall fixedly.
Isabelle didn't know what to do. She sat back on her heels and forced a bright smile on her face. Her hand dropped away from Jesse. "All right," she said in as soothing a voice as she could manage. She kept reminding herself that he wasn't rejecting her, he was dreaming. People usually aren't rational in their dreams. "All right. I'm just like everyone else." She leaned forward. "How have you been, Jesse? Are you still in Roswell? Or did you take that great job opportunity in Boston?"
Jesse was still staring at the wall. "I can't talk about it. Can't say anything." His eyes flicked in her direction momentarily, then back to the wall. "You don't know who's listening."
"No, Jesse. It's okay. I checked. Nobody else is listening. I promise. Tell me. How are things with you?"
"NO!" Jesse stood up. Isabelle fell back, looking up at his face with pain and horror. "I can't talk about it. You're not real! Go away!" He covered his face with his hands. "Just go away. I can't stand it. I can't see you anymore."
Isabelle rose to her knees. "Jesse, Jesse, please...I-I-" She reached up to wipe freely falling tears from her cheeks. "I just wanted to see you again..." Jesse was pacing back and forth along the carpet. The room was getting darker, as if all the light was leaching out of it. He muttered angrily under his breath and he walked, his hands making sporadic gestures. Isabelle closed her eyes and tilted her head down. "I'm...sorry," she sobbed, wrapping her arms around herself. "So sorry. I swear, I never wanted to hurt or betray you like this. I really wanted to see you but-but if you want me to leave-"
"YES! Yes! You have to leave, Isabelle. Quickly!" Jesse was only getting more and more agitated and erratic. The fog suddenly seemed to thicken in the room, leaving her with only a shimmery silhouette of her husband. With a final sob, Isabelle flung herself out of the dreamwalk. She opened her eyes to find herself back on her bed in the motel room, her fists clenched so tightly that her nails had broken her skin, and blood was seeping out. She pulled herself up and stumbled to the bathroom, still sobbing brokenly. The tears just wouldn't stop. She gasped as the cold water out of the bathroom faucet hit her wounds. She washed her hands in the water, waiting for the blood to stop flowing.
Jesse obviously hated her. She'd never seen him act that way before, though she hadn't dreamwalked him too often. The agitation, and his insistence that she leave him hurt so much she couldn't even feel the pain in her hands. Just being near him had been so wonderful, but now she knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that she'd lost him forever. He couldn't even talk to her, it was so bad. She doubled over as another bout of sobs shook her body. Jesse hated her. He truly understood the depths of her betrayal of their love, and couldn't forgive her for it. She sank to the ground and groaned out his name. She was cursed. She'd said it before, and now it was confirmed one more time. Everyone she loved, she either betrayed or destroyed.
If she hadn't been sobbing so hard into the bathroom rug, she might have noticed Kyle, who lay on his bed with slightly open eyes. "To achieve true happiness, you must first desire nothing," he murmured under his breath, then closed his eyes with a sigh and lay there, listening to her wracking sobs as the night wore on.
*****
"This doesn't solve anything, you know," Maria murmured, her head lying on Michael's chest. She felt him take a deep breath and sigh. "Well, it doesn't. I think we've proved that very well. In fact, I think we're living proof it's an anti-problem-solving strategy."
"Yeah," Michael agreed. Maria could hear the irritation in his voice, and fought to keep her own frustration down below the radar. "I know." His hand was running through her hair. She struggled to maintain her train of thought as a shiver danced down her spine.
"You know, Michael, when you thought you were going back to Antar, and finally showed yourself to me, you mentioned that you were scared to let me see who you were. You said you were ashamed of things about yourself." She lifted her head off him, rolled over and rested her chin on her hands, with her elbows on the bed as she looked into his eyes. "But you finally opened your soul completely to me." She tilted her head to the side, resting her head completely on one arm as the other reached out to cradle his face. He was watching her carefully, and she could feel him tensing under her touch. It hurt to see him readying himself for something painful. "You let me see everything about you, Michael, and I hope you know that I was never ashamed or disgusted by what you showed me. I hope I never hurt you by making you think I rejected any part of you." She smiled faintly. "Sometimes you disappoint me, of course. But I know, Michael, that you're a good man."
The look in Michael's eyes changed to confusion. "Um...I have no idea where this conversation is heading..." he said.
"I'm trying to explain myself, I guess," Maria said. "You seem to need everything spelled out in very short, simple words." Her smile renewed itself as he rolled his eyes at her comment. "I love you, Michael, you know that. And you love me. But this wall has grown up between us. And it seems like every time we try to breach it, we just end up adding more bricks." Michael opened his mouth and she brought her fingers from their resting place on his cheek to his lips, sealing in the words he wanted to say. "Shhhhh. Not yet. Let me say my piece. I know I hurt you when I said I couldn't see you anymore because I had to find myself. I'm sorry it hurt you, Michael, but it was true. I couldn't continue to let our love swallow every other part of my life. Now you're hiding yourself from me again. I'm not sure if that's the only reason why. Maybe it's that, maybe you're not sure if you trust me with what you were when you became king, after Max died." Again Michael started to say something, and again Maria stopped him. "I want you to know that I love you, Michael. You're a guy that wants to do good, that is good. You're too hard on yourself, and a little too scared of being hurt. I think I'm at the place that Liz has been with Max all along. I realized, with my music, that life is full of compromise, but there are some things I'm not willing to compromise. One of those things is my music, and..." she felt her throat tightening up with emotion, "and one of them is you." Maria wiped at her eyes and sniffed a little. "Damn. I was trying to be adult about all this. I didn't want to get all weepy." She rolled over and sat up on the edge of the bed, her back to him. She felt the bed shifting under her, and knew he was moving. "I guess that's it. I'm here, Michael. Don't make me wait too long." She bent over and picked up her shirt.
"Does this mean we're not fighting anymore?" Michael asked after few seconds of silence. Maria rolled her eyes as she pulled her shirt on.
"I doubt it. Fighting seems to be the thing we do best," Maria said as her head pulled through her shirt. She heard Michael snort behind her and couldn't resist a giggle through her tears. "Okay, one of the things we do best." She pulled on her pants and picked up the rest of her things, then stood up. Before she could take a step, a warm hand reached out and held on to her own. She smiled. "Good night, Michael." She released his hand and walked out the door, closing it quietly behind her. She suppressed a flash of annoyance with a sigh. She'd thrown a lot at him, of course he hadn't followed her. Of course he needed time to mull things over and examine himself. "Pull yourself together, Deluca!" she muttered to herself as she walked back to her room. She hugged her socks and shoes to her chest with one arm as she unlocked and opened the door with the other. "You've decided to act you age. Don't drop the ball now!" Maria threw herself into the bed nearest the door, which Isabelle had been kind enough to leave for her, and fell asleep before her head hit the pillow.
*****
Liz jumped as she heard a scream from the room next door. She spat out the froth of toothpaste in her mouth, dropped her toothbrush in the sink and ran next door with the faucet still running. That had sounded like Maria!
Liz pounded frantically on the door. "Maria? Maria, are you all right?" She whipped her head around as something touched her back.
"Here," Max said, resting his other hand on the door's lock, "I can get that."
Liz heard the door click and shoved it open. "What's wrong? I heard Mari-" Liz stopped in her tracks, her eyes wide as she took in the scene before her. Maria was no longer screaming, but she was red-faced and very obviously upset. She was holding her shirt, which she had evidently been changing out of, over her front as she pointed one furiously trembling finger at Kyle, who was blinking blearily on the bed farthest from the door, his hair lying every which way as his own face began to blush bright red. Isabelle was leaning against the doorjamb in her pajamas. Scarlet marks were scattered randomly across her face as if she'd slept on a carpet. She swayed unsteadily on her feet, obviously still exhausted, and her eyes looked irritated and red. Liz turned and saw that Max was about to come in the room. Liz placed the palm of her hand firmly against his chest and pushed him back. "I'm sorry Max, but you'd better wait outside for a minute." She shoved him back and closed the door behind her.
Kyle had both hands up and was looking away from a fuming Maria. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were in here!"
"What are you talking about!?! I didn't know you were in here! This is my room, after all!" Maria clenched her shirt to herself even more tightly as her voice rose in indignation. Liz bent over and began to pull the blanket off Maria's bed as Isabelle spoke up.
"You kicked him out of his room, Maria. I found him sleeping in the hallway, so I let him in." If possible, Isabelle sounded even more tired than she looked.
"Yeah, that's it. I didn't mean anything by it, Maria. Like I said, I'm sorry."
"All right, all right," Liz said soothingly as she walked in front of Maria and spread her arms, hiding everything but Maria's head from Kyle's view with the blanket off Maria's bed. "Just get out, Kyle." Liz jerked her head toward the door to the room.
"I am sorry," he muttered as he left. As his hand touched the doorknob he turned back to look at Isabelle. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"KYLE!" Maria growled, glaring at him over the edge of the blanket.
"Fine, Kyle. Thanks." Isabelle favored him with a weak smile, yawned, and turned around to enter the bathroom. Kyle nodded and slipped out with a final apologetic look at Liz. Liz dropped the blanket and Maria collapsed on her bed with a sigh.
"Well, that was embarrassing," she groaned. She leaned over and picked up a different shirt, then rooted around in her bag for the rest of her change of clothes. "I hope Isabelle doesn't take too long in the shower."
"What happened last night, Maria? How could you not notice Kyle was here? Where did Isabelle sleep?"
Maria shrugged. "I thought about what you said last night, and decided to talk to Michael. I did kick Kyle out of the room," she admitted. "We...well, we talked...among other things-"
"Maria! You know that's not going to solve your probl-"
Maria held up her hands in a calming motion. "I know, I know. We talked afterward...and, well...we'll see. As for Isabelle, I don't know where she slept. I just assumed that she was Kyle, and started to change, then he woke up, and I screamed. Isabelle came out of the bathroom, then you came in and-"
"Wait a minute," Liz exclaimed, aghast. "You mean Isabelle was sleeping in the bathroom?"
Maria shrugged. "I guess so." She smacked her lips together and made a face. "Ugh. Where's my toothbrush..." She knelt and started going through her bag again, then looked up. "You might want to finish brushing your teeth yourself, Liz...you look like you're frothing at the mouth."
"Oh my gosh! I forgot!" Liz covered her lips with her hand and rushed out of the room. Max was standing in the hallway.
"Liz?"
She impatiently waved him off as she darted back to their sink and looked in the mirror. A bluish-white foam was caked around her mouth. She filled a glass from the still-running faucet and rinsed her mouth and toothbrush. Max peeked his head around the corner. "What the heck was that all about?"
Liz shook her head. "I don't really know. And to tell you the truth, I'm not sure I want to, either."
*****
Isabelle stifled another yawn. She saw Liz shoot her a look full of questions. She'd had that curious look all morning. Isabelle refused to satisfy her sister-in-law's curiosity, though. Instead she looked around at the community college campus with an interest not entirely feigned. East Los Angeles College was part of a network of eight community colleges in the L.A. area. This one offered biology, which was Liz's major of choice. Isabelle herself wasn't sure what she wanted to study, but some areas of interest were here. This college felt similar to the one she'd attended while in Roswell. The atmosphere, right now, was painful. Rather than the reminder of her old life making her feel comfortable and at ease, it made here realize, all over again, exactly what she was missing. It was, indirectly, another reminder of Jesse and everything else she'd lost. The last thing she needed right now was that.
Liz cleared her throat. "It seems pretty busy here, for the summer."
Isabelle shrugged. "Yeah, but a lot of the people here already work full time, and just want some classes on the side. Community colleges are pretty busy year round, I think."
"Mmm," Liz muttered in wordless agreement. "They only require an official school transcript for admission. I guess that would be pretty easy to fake." She sighed. "After some classes here, maybe I can get into a full four-year degree program."
"Are you done looking around?" Isabelle scanned the area around them. "I'd like to get back with the others. We know what papers and identification we'd need to enroll here, that's all we really came for. I'm sure the others are back from the DMV and waiting for us."
Liz nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. So, how do you think we're going to find the information to get social security numbers?"
Isabelle shrugged. "I don't know. Alex -" Isabelle shivered a little as she thought of him, "Alex might have been able to do something, but none of us are terribly good with computers." Her eyes roved over the other people on the sidewalk as she thought for a second. "I would guess we'd have to break in to an office that stores that kind of thing. One of us could disguise ourselves as someone who works there and look up some good names and numbers. It's the only thing I can think of. I have no idea how to go about it otherwise."
Liz nodded. "That makes se-OOF!" Liz staggered into Isabelle as a young woman with long blonde hair bumped into her. Isabelle reached out to steady Liz. She noticed that Liz looked suddenly pale, and her gaze was faraway and distracted.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," the young woman said, reaching out to brush imagined dirt from Liz's shirt. Each time the woman's hands touched her, Liz's entire body shook with tremors under Isabelle's bracing grip. Isabelle smiled at her, trying to act natural, even though her first thought was to make the woman leave. Isabelle had a sneaking suspicion about Liz's reaction to this woman.
"It's okay," Isabelle assured the woman, "She's fine."
"Really, I'm sorry. I'm in such a hurry," the woman's eyes darted to her wristwatch, then back up to Isabelle's face. "Sorry."
Isabelle just smiled and pulled Liz away. The woman gave Liz a strange look, then took off in the direction she'd been jogging. "Liz!" Isabelle hissed as soon as the woman was out of earshot. "Liz! Snap out of it! What did you see?"
Liz's body was shaking like a leaf, and her faraway gaze was somehow blank and intent at the same time. She was mumbling something softly under her breath. Isabelle could only catch a few odd words. "No...won't tell...know anything...stop..." Isabelle led Liz to a nearby bench and pushed her down onto the seat. As she sat down beside her, Liz blinked and gasped. "No! Wha...?" She looked around herself and swallowed.
"What did you see, Liz?" Isabelle asked intently. "That's the strongest reaction I've ever seen from you! Stronger even than the one in the diner in Wilkieup."
Liz swallowed again. A tear ran down her cheek. "She knows something about aliens. I saw her in a white room. She was being questioned...tortured..." her voice trailed off into silence as she wiped her face with the back of her hand.
"She's another one of us?"
"N-no, I don't think so. But the FBI was convinced she knew something. Every time she touched me I saw her get tortured over and over again...finally, they killed her." Liz closed her eyes and another tear ran down her cheek. "They gave her an overdose of drugs and dropped her body in an alley."
"Oh God..." Isabelle murmured, running her hand over Liz's back in absentminded comfort as she looked in the direction the young woman had disappeared in. "We have to follow her, Liz. We have to at least find out who she is!" She focused on Liz, who was wiping her eyes and squaring her shoulders with resolution. "Let's go!"
Liz nodded and stood, and Isabelle did the same. "Yes," Liz said softly, "we have to save her!" They ran after the woman, scanning the crowds carefully for long blonde hair. "There!" Liz said, pointing. "Wasn't she wearing a red t-shirt? I think that's her."
Isabelle nodded. "Yeah, I think so too. We've got to follow her without drawing attention to ourselves." Isabelle looked around. The crowds on campus were thinning as the time moved past the hour. Most people were in their classrooms by now. She tugged on Liz's shirtsleeve and pulled her behind some foliage. "I'm going to change my looks. I can't do it for you, but maybe you'll be less conspicuous if you don't walk with me." Isabelle ran her hand over her body, and light flared from the palm of her hand and changed her appearance to that of a young Hispanic woman. She looked herself over quickly, then raised her head. Liz was tying her hair up in a knot. She shrugged and smiled at Isabelle's expression.
"My disguise isn't very good, but every little difference helps," she said. "I'll stay to her right, you on the left. That way, if she turns off somewhere, one of us can follow her easily without being too obvious." Isabelle bobbed her head in agreement, and Liz took off at a slow jog. Isabelle followed, taking the left as Liz had suggested. Her long legs ate up the pavement quickly, so she kept herself at a brisk walk, rather than risking extra attention by running. She soon caught sight of Liz again, who had slowed down to a relaxed walk. Isabelle kept her faster pace for a few moments, then saw their target up ahead, still walking quickly, with a blind intentness of purpose that practically screamed that she was in a hurry. Isabelle slowly brought down her pace until she was walking about the same speed as the woman, only a few feet behind. She carefully watched the woman's face, committing it to memory. She wanted to be able to attempt dreamwalking this woman tonight. She made a mental note to start carrying some sort of camera around with her for cases like this. It would make things much easier.
Isabelle turned her head and caught sight of Liz again, out of the corner of her eye. Liz was on the other side of the street, walking with her hands in her pockets. Isabelle looked forward again and caught the young woman in front of her glancing at her face, then away again quickly. Her heart flip-flopped. Had she been made? Maybe it was a mistake to assume that since her disguise was perfect she didn't have to be careful. But the woman didn't change her stride at all, and Isabelle slowly relaxed. The woman crossed over to Liz's side of the street at the next intersection, but Isabelle stayed on her side. The woman continued walking right, and Isabelle watched Liz follow her, then dashed into the lobby of a classroom building. She saw the sign for a woman's restroom, and quickly changed herself into a redhead. She smiled momentarily as she jogged back to follow Liz and the woman. She should do stuff like this more often - it was kind of fun! She saw Liz sitting on a bench in front of another classroom building on a short way down the road. She walked up and sat down.
"Well? Where is she?"
"What?" Liz asked, staring at her strangely. Isabelle suddenly realized what Liz's problem was. With a small grin she waved her hand in front of her face, momentarily returning her face to normal before returning to her new disguise. Liz smiled in understanding and jerked her head in the direction of the building behind them. "She went in there. I walked around the building. This is the only way in. There's another door on the west side of the building, but it doesn't open from the outside. If you want to watch that door..."
Isabelle shook her head. "I'll go and temporarily fuse that door shut. Then we can go inside and find her."
"You want to talk to her?" Liz asked, surprised.
"Maybe I can strike up a conversation with her, find something out."
Liz shrugged and acquiesced. "Sure, I suppose."
Isabelle walked up to the western door and fused the door to the doorframe. Then she walked back to the front, to find Liz there, waiting for her. She smiled and entered. There was only one long hallway, empty of traffic, though they could hear lectures wafting through the air around them. They strode forward softly, looking from side to side in the classrooms as they walked by. They saw no sign of the young woman. Liz tried the door Isabelle had sealed, just in case, but it was sealed tight. They looked at each other in confusion. Liz shrugged. "It doesn't make sense. I saw her co-" A loud yell interrupted her, and both women whipped their heads around to face the direction of the disturbance. Isabelle took off at a run. She saw that a supply closet door was swung open, and when she looked in the classroom across the hall she saw that one of the windows in the room was broken, and a hammer was lying on the ground near it.
"What happened?" she asked.
"Some crazy woman just broke through that window and jumped out of the building!" the woman in front of the classroom said, aghast. "I can't imagine what would cause the girl to do something like that!"
Isabelle back out of the room and walked over to where Liz was standing, near the front door of the building. "She jumped out the window," Isabelle said shortly. "She must have noticed us." She motioned for Liz to follow her and strode up to the west door. She laid her hand against, loosened it from the doorjamb, opened it and walked outside. She scanned the area, but saw no sign of the woman. Liz and Isabelle looked at each other. Then Isabelle sighed with frustration and they began to walk back to the bus stop.
*****
"So, you don't think she's one of us?" Max asked Liz. She shook her head. "Why do you think she ran like that?"
Iz spoke up. "I think she noticed me. Liz said the FBI was after her...maybe she's on the watch for tails." Isabelle shrugged. "I had changed my looks, so she didn't know who I was, but she did give me a couple of odd glances. I bet she noticed that I was paying a lot of attention to her, and decided to play it safe. When Liz and I went looking for her in that building, it must have confirmed her worst fears."
"I can't believe that she managed to make you so quickly after you disguised yourself!" Michael exclaimed, shaking his head.
"Hey!" Iz exploded. Max tried to give her a quelling look - she was in a horrible mood - but she continued. "I've never had an opportunity to tail people or investigate things. I -" Iz seemed to realize she was overreacting, and swallowed what she wanted to say next. "I memorized her face. I can try to dreamwalk her. Maybe I can find out more." She ran a hand over her face and closed her eyes with a sigh. She looked so tired. Max reached out and touched her other hand in a wordless question. Her eyes met his, but she shook her head and looked away. Max suppressed a sigh. It probably had to do with Jesse. She really loved him. Max couldn't help feeling guilty for the problems she was having. Maybe if they'd allowed her to tell Jesse about themselves earlier, things would have worked out better for her.
"Why don't you try that," Liz agreed eagerly. Isabelle closed her eyes and her breathing slowed. Her eyebrows drew together in concentration. Max always wondered how she did that. Of course, they all their own special powers. Even Liz. He took a couple of silent steps, being careful not to disturb Isabelle, and hugged Liz close to his side. Every time he let her out of his sight, something seemed to happen to one of them. She smiled up at him and ran one hand along his arm. He nearly gasped as a few flashes of the afternoon's events flashed through his head
A young woman, not much older than them, with long, straight blonde hair. Sidewalks and streetlamps whipping by. Isabelle...only not Isabelle. A crash and shouting.
Liz looked up at him. What? She mouthed silently. He must have reacted somehow. He smiled and shook his head. He looked back at his sister and shifted his weight on his feet as his thought returned to his contemplation of their powers. Maybe they all had the same powers, only they were better at some. They'd avoided using them most of the time. Maybe if they practiced more, like Tess had, they would be able to use each others' special skills. Liz was right, they had to find out more about how their powers worked. Yet another thing to do. The pile never seemed to get any smaller...
"Oh!" Isabelle gasped and took a sudden deep breath. Her eyes opened and she brought a hand to her head as her eyebrows knit together in a look of pain. She pressed the heel of her hand hard against her forehead. "MMMmmmm...that was difficult. She's not very open to dreamwalking. I barely managed to see her."
"You did get through, though?" Michael was lounging on the bed.
"Yeah...just barely..."
Maria was sitting on the floor, leaning with her back against the bed behind her. Michael and Maria were acting a little strange. There wasn't any discernable tension between them, yet they weren't sitting next to each other either. Maria smiled at Isabelle kindly. "Getting through at all with just a single chance meeting and no photograph seems pretty amazing to me. Did you find out anything?"
Isabelle shook her head. "It was a little confusing. Everything was so foggy. I asked what her name was, but she gave me two different answers. The first time she said that her name was ‘Serena'." Max felt Liz start. She was staring at Isabelle with a shocked look that she quickly covered with a blandly interested expression. She glanced up at Max to see if he'd noticed, but he pretended to be paying rapt attention to his sister's story. He looked at Maria and noticed that she too seemed to be reacting strangely to the name Serena. "Then she looked upset and insisted her name was Ellen," Isabelle continued. "I was able to get the address. 2578 Randall Street. But I have no idea where that is." Isabelle shrugged, frustrated at the lack of information. "Like I said, it was difficult to get through. I think she was blocking me a little, somehow."
Liz and Maria were giving each other significant looks across the room. Max decided to take the bull by the horns. "What's going on, you two?" Liz jerked and looked up at him guiltily. "Something's got you worried. What is it?" Liz swallowed and looked down at her toes, a blush rising in her cheeks. Kyle and Michael watched her, and she got even redder. Isabelle stopped rubbing her head and looked up with a frown. Max looked at Maria. "Maria?"
Maria held up her hands in a warding gesture. "Hey, this isn't my story to tell. I only found out about it weeks later!" She looked over at Kyle and coughed into her fist.
Kyle looked back at her, confused. "What?" Maria's eyes shifted between Kyle and Max a couple of times. "Oh...something to do with that?"
"Liz..." Max didn't like where this conversation seemed to be heading. If it had something to do with the time he saw Liz and Kyle together... He knew she'd never actually had sex with Kyle, but she'd never explained exactly what had happened, or why she'd let Max think she had for so long. "Liz, I think we need to know."
Liz sighed. "I think you do, too." She sagged a little, and Max let her go. She walked over to Maria and plopped down on the bed near her side. "It's a really weird story, though." Everyone waited silently, but Liz had fallen silent again.
Maria gave her a gentle shake. "Just start from the beginning - or at least, how you began when telling me."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Michael growled out, frustrated with all the obscure references being bandied about the room.
Liz barked out a short, sharp laugh that didn't contain even an iota of humor. "Let's just say it's hard to choose a ‘beginning' to this story," she said cryptically. She grabbed Max's hand tightly and pulled him over to the bed. As she touched him, he felt another flash of images, too fast and confused for him to catch, except for a vision of his face...only it wasn't his face, there was something different about it... "You'd better sit down," Liz said, then let go and stared at the ground. "It happened almost two years ago, now. I had decided that Max and I would never work out, since he was destined to be with Tess." Max opened his mouth to protest, but he saw the pain in her eyes and closed his mouth without a word. He could tell she'd never be able to let this all out if she was interrupted. "Then, one night, I was visited by Max...except it wasn't my Max. It took some convincing, but he finally got me to believe that he was from our future." She glanced up into Max's eyes, and a smile ran across her lips. "It was the night you serenaded me, remember? He told me you'd show up and do that. I told him he was crazy, you'd never do something like that...and then you started singing from the street below." Max felt a flush creep up his face as Michael and Isabelle both turned to gape at him. Liz's eyes dropped again as she continued. "So...so he told me that I had to help you fall out of love with me. He said-he said Tess left because she was so upset that you were ignoring her, and when she left, you became too weak to resist your enemies. I assume he meant the skins. You'd been fighting them for about 14 years, and finally, two weeks before you came back to the past, Isabelle had died. And then Michael too. You said that you and I were the last ones left, and you decided to go into the past, using the Grenalith, to change the past and allow things to turn out better." She looked up again at everyone. "That's how I knew about the Grenalith when you went off to New York, Max. The future Max said it was very important and had to be protected."
"What about this Serena chick, then?" Michael asked impatiently.
"Oh, well, future Max told me that Serena was a future friend of mine and she was the one who figured out how to use the Grenalith to do time travel. She's some sort of physics whiz." Liz shrugged. "I've been keeping an eye out for this ‘Serena' ever since. So, to finish the story, I tried to get you to fall in love with Tess, Max, but you found out and got upset. I tried to tell you I didn't love you, and you came back at me with tickets to Gomez. So I...so I asked Kyle to help me. After you ran off, Max, I thought we'd never be together. So I asked the future Max to give me my wedding dance, and while we were dancing he-well, he disappeared."
Max glanced over at Kyle. Kyle was staring at Liz with an awed sort of expression on his face. "That's totally unbelievable!" he exclaimed. "I thought you were just pissed off at him. This other Max was right there? Geez!"
Isabelle's thoughts were taking a different tack. "So, did this future Max want Alex to die? ‘Cause that's what keeping Tess got us. And now she's gone anyway."
Liz's eyes began to tear. She stood up and shook her head. "No! No, he didn't know what Tess would do. He just knew you needed her to defeat the skins. And...and you did defeat them, with her help." Liz closed her eyes, and the tears began to run down her face. Max got up and strode over to her. "I think that's part of the reason I hated Tess so much...I felt so guilty, because it was my fault she was around long enough to kill Alex." She was difficult to understand through the tears. Max enfolded her in a hug.
"Shh...shhh...you had no way of knowing how things would've turned out. What a horrible position I-he-you were placed in..." Liz sobbed and wrapped her arms around him as she hid her face in the curve of his neck and shoulder. Her hot tears burned his skin and sparked visions, stronger than usual after being repressed for so long. Him, with lines on his face and gray in his hair. "I'm sorry Liz, I can't imagine how difficult that would be..." Unimaginable pain and guilt as Liz told Max she wasn't willing to die for him, when her heart was screaming she would do that and more. Liz's hands grabbed Max's shirt tightly, her hands curling into fists. His older self, insisting that she rip to shreds the one thing in her life she didn't want to give up. Max struggled with what to say, but words seemed so inadequate. Liz's tear stained face being raised as she explains: "Don't you realize what you are to me...and you're always gonna be? You're the love of my life. Everyone else is gonna be second best. There'll never be another you." What could he say next to that?
As they stood, an immovable pillar anchored in each other, Maria got up off the floor and reached out to grab one of Michael's hands. She reached out on the other side and pulled on Kyle's arm. "All right, everyone. I think we need to give them a moment." She began to pull them out of the room. Isabelle stood and followed them out. Max was too absorbed in his wife to notice them.
"How-" Max's voice cracked. He swallowed and tried again. "How could you love me so much?" She nuzzled in closer. Twirling to music that wasn't even there, allowing herself an instant of happiness, only to stop and realize she was alone. More alone than she ever thought a person could be and not die from it. "I don't think-no, I know I wouldn't be able to give you up. Not while there was the smallest chance..." He couldn't continue. Lying to Max, making him hate her more as she admitted to a betrayal she would never dream of committing. He turned his head and kissed her cheek. "Liz...I'm so sorry...I never knew..."
Liz sniffed and loosened her hold a little bit. "I know, I know, I'm the one who lied to you. You shouldn't be apologizing...I should-" She sniffed again and reached up to wipe her face. "It's such a relief to tell you. I should have done it sooner, instead of holding it back."
Max looked down at her face. "You know that you can tell me anything. Finding this out only makes me realize how much more I owe you."
"No, Max!" Liz shook her head emphatically, her waterfall of dark hair swaying behind her. "No, you're the one who's always saving me! If anyone owes anything, it's m-"
Max reached out with a smile as she spoke to run his hands through her hair. "No one owes anyone anything," he interrupted softly. "There are no debts or obligations. There are just two people, hopelessly in love."
Liz's lids lowered as her smile turned sultry. She put her hands on his shoulders and craned her neck up for a kiss. "I'll second that..." As their lips connected, Max knew that they were both being completely open to each other for the first time since they'd gotten back together, after Tess. The one tiny little corner, so small he'd never even known it was there, was now as open to him as the rest of her. As he was to her. He used one hand to pull her closer to him while the other fumbled behind his back for the deadbolt. As he finally heard the door lock, he thought he heard a snicker from the other side of the door. He picked Liz up and carried her to the bed as she threw her arms around his neck. Then he was unable to notice anything in the entire cosmos except her.
*****
Kyle looked at Isabelle. "Why didn't you want to go along with them to find this "Serena"?"
Isabelle kept walking forward. They were nearing a larger building that a sign proclaimed held the "Student Information Office". "I could ask you the same question, you know."
Kyle shook his head. "No fair, I asked first."
Kyle felt a small thrill of triumph as Isabelle smiled and conceded the point. "I was scared she'd remember me...and I feel guilty for going into her mind like that. I guess I feel like it's not much better than a mindwarp when the other person isn't willing to share information. I gave them all the information I got, so I figured it'd be all right if I didn't go with them." She waved her arm in a wide gesture at the campus around them as they strode up to the door. "Besides, I'd rather be looking at colleges anyway. How about you?"
Kyle shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I didn't want any of us going off alone. It makes me nervous for some reason."
Isabelle's expression became sad. "Yeah..." She looked off into space as her feet brought her over to a bench near the sidewalk. She sat down and looked at her feet, her toes wiggling in her sandals. Kyle sat down too, leaving a little space between them. "Sometimes I think we should just all give up. It doesn't seem worth the fight, lately."
Kyle leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs as he looked at Isabelle's face. "You can't give up, Isabelle."
She shot him a look. "Are you going to spout something about determination winning the day or a positive spirit turning defeat into victory?"
He shook his head. "No. It's just...it's too late to give up now. If you'd tried, in the beginning...well...who knows. But now the government will never believe you're harmless...not after Tess. And what about Liz and me? Liz is already considered one of you by the military...otherwise why would she have seen herself dead with you before graduation? I'll be...like that...soon too, right? It's too late. It's fight or die." He shrugged. "Or hide again, I suppose."
"You're right." Isabelle had a stricken expression on her face. "We're pretty low on choices." Isabelle twirled her wedding rings on her finger absently. Kyle ached to hug her and attempt to comfort her, but he was pretty sure she didn't want that from him right now. Buddha was right. Wanting things only brought pain. "If you could do anything...whatever you dreamed of doing...what would you do?" she asked, blinking quickly. She was trying to suppress her tears.
Kyle cocked his head. "Well...before we left Roswell I was trying to see if I could become a partner at the garage." He clasped his hands together, still leaning forward. He looked intently off into the distance as he continued, baring a precious dream he'd held close to his heart for months. "I think I'd like to try to run my own place. I don't know everything yet, but I'm pretty good at it." He smiled. "And with my resident psychic mechanic by my side, no car problem can defeat me." He was rewarded with a wan smile for that one. "It'd be great to work for myself, you know? There's some business stuff I need to learn first, but that's my dream." He looked down, his voice trailing off. "Doesn't seem much point in dreams like that now..."
Isabelle's sad expression had sharpened into intense interest. "Actually Kyle..." Kyle looked over at her as he heard a new strength and resolve entering her voice. She looked up for a moment, then nodded to herself and continued. "Actually, that's a great idea!"
"Well, I'm glad you think so but-"
"No, that's perfect! Think about it. We have the ability to pretty much print our own money, but someone's going to notice it eventually, especially when we're all unemployed. But if we start running a garage...we'll be able to do the work faster and cheaper than anyone else...we charge a slightly lower price, we start making real money!" Her face lit up as she got more excited. "Just think...we're asked to repaint someone's car and ‘poof'! " Isabelle brought her index finger down to the bench dramatically, "I just have to zap it and we're done! It's great! It gives us employment, a use for our powers, a valid source of money...nothing could be better!" She was smiling now. Kyle couldn't help but be caught up in her excitement. "Why didn't you mention this before, Kyle?"
He shrugged, still energized by her sudden return to full life. "I dunno, it always seemed foolish to me...like I'm reaching too far."
"Oh, no, this is the idea we've all be looking for!" Isabelle stood, then turned and held out a hand to Kyle. "C'mon, let's go tell the-AH!" Isabelle gasped and clutched her hand to her head, her eyes widening alarmingly. Kyle stood up and put his arms around her, steadying her. She bent over with a groan and her eyes began to close.
"Isabelle? Are you alright? Isabelle?!?"
*****
"Well," Maria said, "this is it. Do you suppose she's really here?"
Michael looked determined. "There's only one way to find out." He began to walk up to the front door. Max reached out for him.
"Wait!"
"What? You always want to wait," Michael said, frustrated.
"There may be other exits...if she's scared that we're FBI or something, she's going to try to run. How about you and Maria circle around to the back? That way we've got less chance of losing her."
"I got a better idea," Michael shot back. "How ‘bout you go to the back, and Maria and I walk up to the front?" Maria laid a hand on his arm. Michael seemed a little grouchier than usual. Max, however, simply shrugged and nodded.
"Okay, that works too." He turned toward Liz with that intense look they always seemed to share. "Let's go, Liz. Knock on the door when we get in position, Michael."
"And how am I to know when-"
"Just give us two minutes, okay?" Max was starting to sound exasperated. Maria smiled apologetically at him and Liz as they turned to go.
When they were out of earshot she grabbed Michael's arm and pulled him down until his ear was level with her mouth. "What's with you today?" she hissed.
"What?"
"You're grumpy beyond belief! What's your problem?"
"Aw, I dunno. I've been thinking." He stood up straight and ran his hand through his hair. "I had a hard time sleeping last night..."
"Yeah? What were you thinking?"
Michael avoided her eyes. "I - I guess I've been thinking about why I'm holding back again." Maria stroked his arm encouragingly but didn't say anything. She didn't want to push him right now. He was going in the direction she wanted. If she pushed, he'd start digging in his heels just to be stubborn. If she let him get there himself, he'd feel a lot better. He cleared his throat and looked at the house. "I guess Max and Liz should be in position now. Let's go."
"Just remember, Michael, she's supposed to be our friend...eventually. Let's treat her with kid gloves." Michael grunted, then knocked on the front door. They waited a few seconds, then Michael knocked again, a little more impatiently.
Maria strained her ears, but didn't hear anything inside. She reached out and pressed the doorbell button. She heard the chimes echo out faintly from the bowels of the house, but didn't hear any footsteps or other sounds of life. "Maybe she's not home." Maria suggested tentatively.
Michael snorted. "Yeah. Or maybe-" Just then they heard the heart-stopping sound of a gunshot going off. Michael took off, running around the house. "It came from the back!" he shouted. Maria gasped and ran after him. What if something had happened to Liz?
As Maria rounded the corner of the house she saw Max, his hand up. Before him was that strange, rippling green shield he could make with his powers, and a bullet floated in the midst of it, moving back and forth with the ripples. Liz's hand was out too, and her face was pale. A woman was staring at them in horror, her eyes wide. Her right hand was flung out and up, her fingers tilted oddly, and Maria caught the glint of a gun in the grass, about five feet to her right. Michael's face looked angry as he ran over and snatched up the gun.
"Michael! Maria! It's all right! I just yanked the gun out of her hands.!" Liz had caught sight of them. As she lowered her hand, the woman's hand lowered too. She seemed to be shaking violently. She cradled her right hand in her left, but otherwise did nothing. Max closed his outstretched hand into a fist and the shield vanished. The captured bullet dropped to the cement of the walkway by the back door with a tinkling sound, and the woman flinched. Max leaned over to pick it up. Liz walked up to her carefully. "Are you all right? I didn't hurt you, did I?" She reached out for the woman's hand, but she gasped and took a frightened step back. Liz froze, and held up her hands in a show of peace, not stopping to think that was the same pose she assumed when using her powers. The woman gasped and flinched again. "No, please, don't be scared. Your name is Serena, right?"
"N-No, my name's E-Ellen." The woman stuttered. "Who-who are you people?"
Liz smiled again. "You're Serena. You bumped into me yesterday? Remember?" The woman's eyes flickered in recognition. "I-" Liz chuckled nervously, "I guess you could say I'm psychic, Serena. When you touched me, I saw...I saw what might happen to you." Liz's face was intent as she reached out and grabbed the woman's hands. The woman bit her lip and tears suddenly arose in her eyes at Liz's grip. "Oh, oh my gosh, you must have been hurt! I'm so sorry, really, I'm sorry," Liz began to babble.
Maria reached out with a smile and tugged on Max's arm. "In for a penny, in for a pound, I always say. You've shown her how odd you are already. Why don't you fix that hand, Max?" A shadow flitted across Max's face. He was reluctant to use his healing since finding out what effect it could have on humans. "It's just a small thing, maybe a broken bone or sprained thumb. You won't make her start to glow green, Max." Maria urged quietly.
Max nodded and stepped forward. "Could you let me see your hand, Serena?" he asked gently, reaching out. The woman watched him carefully has he placed his hand over hers, then gasped and tried to yank her hand away as his started to glow a little. Max's eyebrows knit together in concentration for a second, then he stepped back, smiling and releasing her hand. "There. It should be-"
"Fine. It's fine!" The woman was pumping her hand into and out of a fist. "How did you - who - what..." She stared at them helplessly. Maria barely restrained a giggle, then came to her rescue.
"We're right, aren't we? You ARE really Serena, aren't you?"
The woman nodded. Everyone seemed to let out a collective sigh. Liz started up again. "Hi, Serena! I'm so happy to meet you, really I am. Oh, and I'm sorry about your hand, I didn't mean to hurt you, I just wanted the gun-" She was still flustered. Max laid a gentle hand on Liz's shoulder, and she took a deep breath and seemed to center herself. "Anyway, like I was saying, when I touched you, I saw your future, and we couldn't let that happen to you...so we came to find you."
"You're not FBI?"
Liz shook her head. "No. We're...well...would you come with us? We'd like to keep you safe."
"What did you see happening to me?"
Liz swallowed. "I saw you captured...and questioned."
Serena looked doubtful. "You went to all this trouble just because you saw me being questioned?"
Liz shook her head again and said very softly, "No...I saw you...well...I saw you dead." She looked down. "The FBI killed you, made it look like an overdose." She cleared her throat, then looked over at Max.
He stepped into the conversation. "Liz saw that you believe there are aliens, and that's why you believe the FBI is after you." Serena nodded. "Well, you're right, there are aliens. We'd really like to talk to you about how you know what you know, but I think we'd all feel safest if you could get whatever you may need from here, and we all take off. Liz didn't see when the FBI would get you."
Maria watched Serena. Her eyes were calculating as she looked at them. Maria practically held her breath. What would Serena do? Suddenly the woman nodded once, sharply. "I guess I don't have much of a choice. I bet, after revealing whatever the heck that was to me, you're not too likely to let me out of your sight, are you?" Max and Liz both looked uncomfortable at the thought that they were threatening. Michael snorted and muttered something under his breath. "I can make some guesses of what's going on here. I have a few things I'd hate to lose in the house. If some of you want to come in and help me out, we can get it all in one trip, and I don't have to come back here again."
Max nodded. Liz reached out to hold his hand and said, "Max and I will help you, Serena. Michael and Maria can wait for us by the car."
Serena smiled crookedly. "Smart, prevent me from sneaking out another entrance, and from leading you all into some trap on the inside." She jerked her head back toward the door. "Let's go, th-what's wrong?"
Max and Michael had both fallen to their knees. Michael was clutching his head, while Max's hand held so tight to Liz all the blood was squeezed out of it. Liz's had also suddenly blanched. Maria ran up to her. "Liz, what is it?"
Liz's eyes slowly focused on hers. "Isa...belle...I think..."
Michael's hands fell from his head to the ground. He stayed on all fours for a second, breathing heavily. "Yeah, it was Isabelle. She needs us. Something's happened."
Serena had started to back into the house. Maria walked up and placed a gentle, but restraining hand on her shoulder. "Please, just wait a moment. You guys will be fine in a second, then, won't you?"
Max was standing. "Yeah, we're fine...it was just really disorienting. Something's happened to-" Max glanced at Serena, then said " to her husband. She wants us to meet up again."
Serena's smile came back. "It's a little late to be careful about names now. You've given me all of yours already, plus this Isabelle, whoever she is."
"Well, you're comin' with us now, for sure," Michael said.
Liz pulled Max forward. "C'mon, lets get your stuff, Serena." She looked over her shoulder at Maria. Maria nodded in response.
"Don't worry, girlfriend, we'll be here."
*****
"Max! Oh, Max!" Isabelle cried and ran up to her brother. He opened his arm and wrapped them around her. Isabelle had obviously been crying for a long time-her eyes looked red and sore. Kyle stood behind her in the room, his hands in his pockets and a lost look on his face. He'd evidently felt helpless as to what he should do.
"Shhhhh. Shhhhh." Max tried to calm the storm of her weeping. She just sobbed harder. "Please Isabelle, tell me. What's wrong?" Liz walked into the room, followed by a gaping Serena, and Michael and Maria. Max felt a rush of gratitude as Maria turned and softly closed the door behind her, then locked it. "C'mon, Iz. Just tell me."
"It-it's Jesse! Oh, Max, I thought he hated me! I dreamwalked him, and he was so distant. He kept pushing me away. I thought it was because he didn't love me anymore! But then I felt it!"
"What?" Max was feeling pretty lost.
"Jesse! They've got him, Max. Just like when they had you! They're asking him questions in the white room! He wasn't pushing me away because he hates me! He knew they were following him...he was trying to protect me!" Max staggered as Isabelle collapsed against him, her sobs coming back again full force. "You - you have to - help me, help him, Max. We have to save him."
Max raised his hand to her head and hugged her close. Liz's face was horrified. Maria's hands were covering her mouth, and tears ran unchecked down her face. Michael looked ready to punch the nearest handy target, and Kyle expression was lost and in pain as he watched Max's sister sob. Serena was looking around the room at all of them with bright, interested eyes, obviously soaking everything in. Max sighed and closed his eyes. Would it never end? "We will, Iz. We'll save him. I promise."
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You think you've made the best plans. You finally feel like you might be making headway in your life. That's the first sign of danger. That's always when the little things rise up. That's when they balloon into problems of monstrous proportions.
Most days, I have hope and optimism. But it's on the days when the small things take over and begin to drown me that I always feel we'll never have a chance at all.