"If he just wants me to relinquish my rule, maybe I should." Serenity offered, her eyes still red from crying. She'd been very worried when she heard about Michiru, but she'd broken down completely for at least an hour after seeing Rei. Her shoulders were slumped, and her face was pale with exhaustion. Usagi's eyes widened at the defeat in every line of her mother's body.
"No! Mother! You can't! Do you think anyone else would rule as fairly as you do? You can't really think he'd be better than you if you give up to him!"
"Usagi's right, your Majesty." Ami moved closed to Serenity and put her hand on her friend's shoulder. "You've established a monarchy that rules the whole planet. If you step down, someone else will take it, and I can honestly say we'll never have a more loving and compassionate monarch than you."
"But he's killing my people! And he'll kill you too!"
"We can't give up." Serenity whipped her head around to face Haruka. Haruka was in strict control of her emotions, all of them except anger. It crackled through the air around her. "You're the Queen--you've ruled for years now. You can't just step down. The only way for our enemy to remove you for good is to kill you." Haruka looked down for a minute, then back up into her queen's eyes. "I won't allow that."
"None of us will." Makoto's fists were clenched.
Minako nodded. "We'll keep fighting. Just like always. 'Til we win."
Endymion engulfed Serenity in a hug. "We're all here for you, Serenity."
Hotaru nodded in agreement, but in the back of her head the same phrase kept echoing in Michiru's voice: His weakness--it's you, Hotaru. You're our only hope.
She was the only one who'd heard that, and she couldn't stop wondering what it meant. What could she do?
She looked out the window. It was getting dark outside. Today had been bad. What would tomorrow bring?
"We're going to keep watch on you during the night." Minako said as Serenity calmed down. "Everyone but Hotaru will take a watch." Minako turned to her with a smile. "Your attacks are just so strong, Saturn. I don't think we'll want you blowing whole wings off of the palace."
Hotaru smiled back. "Oh, I don't feel a bit insulted, Minako. I'd rather get a full night's sleep anyway. I haven't been getting enough lately."
Minako began handing out assignments and Hotaru stood and left. She was going to stay the night at Makoto's villa. And this time she'd have a phone number to give Mark when she next saw him. As she walked into Makoto's place she turned the lights on. It was beautiful! Plants were all over the place, making the walls themselves seem to be green with life. Flowers filled the air with perfume, and Hotaru collapsed in a comfortable overstuffed chair and rubbed her forehead. That fight had been tough. She was sore all over. All she wanted to do was soak in a tub of hot water and go to bed early. As her stomach rumbled she amended that with the addition of supper. She hadn't eaten since she'd had lunch with Mark!
After a few more minutes of blessed relaxation she pushed herself up out of the chair and stumbled to the bathroom. On her way there she was met with a pleasant surprise. Someone had packed all her things and brought them here--her suitcase was lying in the floor near one of the spacious bedrooms, and inside she noticed the open closet was filled with her clothes. And most of her lamps were set up in the room as well. Makoto must have arranged things for her while she had been out with Mark, and then while she was fighting. She snatched up her robe and completed her trip to the bathroom. Makoto had a wide selection of herbal bubble baths, and Hotaru smiled with delight when she found a lilac one. She sprinkled it liberally throughout the tub and climbed in. It was a different experience soaking in an American style bathtub. She sighed happily as she closed her eyes and sank down to her chin in the fragrant suds. She played with the bubbles as she thought.
She was surprised at the strength of her feelings for Mark. True, this was the first time she'd ever come close to falling in--she shied away from the word, then forced herself to think it. Falling in love. Love. She rolled that thought around in her mind awhile, until it didn't bring a little thrill of fear when she thought it. This was it. Her first love. What a long time it had taken!
So anyway, it wasn't surprising her feelings were stronger than she really expected, but what made Mark so special? She thought about that for awhile. Maybe it was the slight shyness he had about him. And there was this feeling she couldn't quite place about him. She narrowed her eyes as she tried to name it.
She had some darker feelings and urges than the other senshi, probably because she was the messiah of silence. Maybe she sensed the same sort of thing about him. She liked her lamps, and the warmth of her friends, but when she was truly troubled she took refuge in the darkness, and solitude. Maybe he did too. As she thought about it, Hotaru became more and more sure she'd found the answer. She traced out a smiley face in the slowly dissipating suds and watched the small ripples in the tub wash it away. She lifted her hands and widened her eyes as she noticed that they were mazed with wrinkles! With a little exclamation as she realized the water in the bath was cooling, she sat up, pulled the plug, and got out of the tub. Her stomach rumbled again, angry she'd forgotten it while she thought about the state of her heart. She wrapped herself up in her black cotton robe and began to towel dry her hair as she padded through the large house in search of the kitchen. She hoped Makoto had something to eat in her kitchen. She was vaguely worried she wouldn't find anything ready made, but when she opened Makoto's refrigerator she sighed in relief to find a few dishes waiting for her. She bent over to search through her choices when she heard the doorbell.
"Oh no! Not when I'm like this!" Hotaru stood indecisively in front of the fridge with the door still open. She was about to go back to deciding on what to eat for supper when it rang again. With a snort of disgust she closed the door and walked to the front door. She peeked through the peep hole and gasped in surprise. Without thinking she yanked open the door. "Mark!"
He was smiling but the smile turned to embarrassment as he took in her state of dress. His eyes nervously wandered away from her as he cleared his throat and asked, "Uh, did I come at a bad time?"
"What?" Hotaru looked down at herself in her robe and felt herself begin to blush. "Oh. Um. . .well, yeah." She didn't say anything for a minute as her mind went blank except for a few choice oaths that kept circling around. He turned to leave and she jerked herself back to awareness. "No! No, you don't have to leave. Uh, you can wait in the living room while I change."
Mark was still half turned away, but he stopped moving and turned back to look at her. "Are you sure?"
She nodded and smiled softly. "Yes. Here." She opened the door and he slipped in. She pointed at the living room and he sat down in the comfortable chair she'd first collapsed in as she rushed to the room where her clothes were to change. She wavered in front of her closet, trying to decide what to wear. He'd been dressed up, she should probably dress up too. She threw on a pretty purple dress and some understated, but still a bit sparkly, earrings, and quickly ran a brush through her drying hair. She threw open the door and bustled out to see him standing, wandering through the living room, looking at things. He stopped in front of some pictures and stood with his hands stuffed in his pockets as he looked in them. Hotaru slid up behind him to see what picture he was looking at. It was an old photograph of Makoto with Serenity before the disaster, when Serenity was still Usagi and they were both in high school, and next to it was a very faded picture of a couple that could only be Makoto's parents. Luckily neither of them gave away the fact that Makoto was a senshi. Mark hadn't noticed her next to him yet, so she slowly put her arm around his waist and laid her head against his arm.
He jumped at little at her touch, then turned to smile down at her. "Wow! That was fast! I always thought women were supposed to take forever to get ready."
"Ready for what?"
"Oh, yeah," Mark said, "I haven't asked you yet. Would you like to go out for dinner? I know it's short notice, but I couldn't really eat back at the apartment, so I was going out anyway, and I thought of asking you."
Hotaru motioned toward her dressed up state. "I'm ready to go out." She cocked her head as the rest of his explanation hit her. She knew why, but she would be expected to ask, so she did. "Why can't you eat at your apartment?"
"Oh, you didn't hear about that? It seems that some of the Sailor senshi got in a battle with some monsters again, right in my building. It happened a few floors up from me, almost right above my apartment. They cleared out the area around the damaged apartment and shut off our water and power." He shrugged. "So I have to go out to eat."
"Oh, that's terrible! At least it wasn't your apartment that got blown up!" Now that he'd brought the fight to mind again her bruises flared up again, and she winced.
"What's wrong?" Mark leaned over to look into her face. "You look like you're in pain!"
"It's nothing!" Hotaru chuckled and waved his concern away. "I've had a bit of a day, but I'm fine. Really!" she protested as he gave her a dubious look.
Mark took her hand. "Are you ready to go then?"
"Almost, let me grab my purse and put some shoes on." She ran back to her room and grabbed her purse, a ragged old thing that made her wince in embarrassment instead of pain. She really should get out more. She had nothing to wear, everything she owned was so old! She stuffed her feet in some shoes and took his hand as they left the house. She got in the car and smiled over at him as he climbed into the driver's seat.
"Those were some interesting pictures your friend had," he said, looking over at her. Hotaru watched how the approaching headlights illuminated his face as she answered.
"Yes, they're quite old."
"I'd say. For her to be one of those girls in the pre-disaster era, she'd have to be at least thirty. And to be part of the older couple she'd have to be over fifty."
"No, my friend's about my age. The older couple was her parents. As for the other picture, well, she was just younger than she looked."
Mark stole a glance at her, but she pretended not to notice. Her left fist, hidden from his sight, clenched tightly though. This was just another proof that she couldn't build a relationship on lies. If she really wanted her relationship with Mark to go anywhere, she'd have to tell him the whole truth. Could she do it? No. Not yet. She decided to let herself have this illusion of closeness while she could. It would probably be over soon enough.
"You know a lot about the restaurants near the Palace. I've visited two pleasant ones with you in two days!" She tried to be jocular but it fell flat. Mark looked over at her with a serious look on his face.
"That's right! I've only known you for two days! It's so strange. . .I feel like I've known you forever!" His eyes seemed to bore into her, baring her soul for the world to see. She parted her lips a bit, searching for an answer, but before she could say anything he turned away and chuckled weakly. "I guess that sounds pretty lame, doesn't it?" His voice shifted into a sarcastic tone. "'It's like I've known you my whole life!' It sounds like a cheap soap opera line."
Hotaru reached out to grab his arm when she heard the roughness of pain in his voice. He turned to her in surprise and his eyes glinted wetly in the flash of oncoming headlights as they stabbed through all of the elaborate defenses she'd erected over herself. She choked on emotions but forced her words past the lump in her throat. "No, it doesn't, because you mean them. I only wish I'd said them first." His eyes widened and his lips parted slightly. He began to lean over toward her when she noticed a particularly bright light out of the corner of her eye.
"Look out!" She reached over and wrenched the steering wheel to the left, out of the lane of oncoming traffic. Mark jerked his head forward to watch the road again as they missed the car by less than a foot. Hotaru felt herself break out in a nervous sweat. That was close.
"Well," Mark wiped one sweaty palm on his pants, "that was interesting, wasn't it?" He darted quick looks at her as he drove, but kept his eyes mostly on the road. "I guess romance and driving through downtown Crystal Tokyo don't really mix."
Hotaru pressed her lilac-scented handkerchief to her forehead. Not all of the perspiration was from their near accident. "No." She tried to think of something--anything!--to say, and came up blank. The ride was uncomfortably silent for a minute or so. Hotaru breathed a sigh of relief when they pulled up to the restaurant. It looked like it was pretty upscale. She found herself worrying about costs again. She felt so guilty for costing him money when she had so much that she never used.
"Well," Mark had an uncomfortable chuckle in his voice, "Let's hope dinner isn't as eventful as the car ride." Hotaru grabbed his arm and clung to it in the hope of reassuring him. Mark smiled down at her and they strolled in.
After they were seated they stared across the table at each other in silence. Hotaru kept hoping he would break the ice--she was usually the shy one--but this time it seemed he was too uncomfortable to open conversation. "I meant what I said earlier." She leaned in close, and felt her face becoming hot--she wasn't used to this! Mark leaned in a little too, but didn't say anything. "I wish I had said that first. About it seeming like I've known you since I was born--because I feel the same way." She looked down. He was staring at her so intensely she couldn't look at his eyes anymore--it hurt too much. "I-I'm not very good at this. I've never been in love before. I've always been very solitary, but I never thought much about love so I never felt like I was missing anything. But since I've met you, my emotions have jumped out of hiding, and they've taken me by surprise." She felt Mark's hands begin to shake and pushed herself forward. "I'm not very good at putting this sort of thing into words, but what I'm trying to say is--I--even though we've only known each other for two days, I think--I mean--" Her voice thickened with barely repressed tears of frustration. Why couldn't she just say it?
"Shh. . ." Mark brought a hand up to cover her fumbling lips, then replaced his fingers with his own lips. Hotaru closed her eyes as they kissed. It was so wonderful--so real. The rest of the world faded into mist, and only Mark and her existed anymore. He was as inexperienced as she was--she felt him tremble, caught in the same maelstrom of emotions that had captured her--and he was all the world she needed. . .
Finally they pulled apart and Hotaru lazily opened her eyes. She felt a satisfied little smile tug at the corners of hr mouth. Mark's eyes were almost completely closed too, and as he looked at her through his pale lashes he smiled at her so tenderly her heart almost stopped. Suddenly Hotaru noticed the unnatural silence around them and glanced around. Everyone in the restaurant was staring at them. A young child stared at them with wide eyes and an open mouth, not really understanding what was going on. Older couples smiled knowingly, and their waitress was standing at their table, half turned away with embarrassment for interrupting such a moment. Mark followed her gaze as he saw her begin to blush furiously, and his pale skin became almost as red as hers. Everyone but the young child turned their eyes away to spare them more embarrassment, and the waitress quietly cleared her throat and poised her pencil above her pad in preparation for taking their order.
Hotaru couldn't help herself. This was so wonderful and strange all at the same time. This was so outside her experience and character. All she could do to attempt to hide it was cover her mouth with her hand, but that didn't hide much. She began to laugh. Not giggle, or titter, or choke back sound, but laugh, freely and openly, for the first time in many years.
She couldn't see how she could ever be happier than she was when she could look into Mark's eyes. Despite all that had happened in the last few days she wouldn't want to change a thing that had happened if it meant she would never have met Mark.
*****