Hotaru shut her eyes tighter and rolled over with a moan. The light was trying to force her to wake up, but she didn't want to yet. The bed was just so comfortable. She was snug as a bug. . .
She sat up as memory returned to her sluggish brain. She turned to the window and saw that the sun was quite far west in the sky. That was why it had disturbed her rest. She was in Mark's apartment. As that thought made contact with her muscles she threw off the blankets and nearly leapt out of bed. She ran to the door and leaned up against the door frame as she looked into Mark's living room. The couch was empty.
She stood in the doorway for second, confused, then moved forward with a small shake of her head. The pillow and neatly folded blanket were carefully laid on one end of the couch. She glanced up and saw that the door was locked. A breeze swept through the room and Hotaru brought her hands up to cover her arms as goose bumps crept up them. She looked to her right and noticed that the window was open. As she walked over to close it she noticed a piece of paper on the table near the window, flapping impatiently in the wind. A pair of sparkling garnet earrings were all that held it down. Even as she was reaching out for the slip of paper the breeze picked it up and flung it across the room. Hotaru spent a few seconds chasing the illusive note around the apartment, and finally caught it. Out of breath, she gasped for air as she read Mark's note to her.
"I'm sorry we had that quarrel earlier today. I can see we both feel strongly about our positions. I guess it was useless to argue about them. I'm also sorry because despite how obvious it is how you feel about Serenity I can't leave behind my experiences with her rule as monarch. I have to continue what I've started.
"You probably don't know what I'm trying to say. I'm apologizing ahead of time for something I'm about to do. I've withheld the truth from you, and I'm sorry for it now, but there's nothing I can do about it anymore except hope you'll understand, and maybe even forgive me someday.
"I found these earrings yesterday afternoon, but never worked up the courage to give them to you, and after our quarrel I felt even more unsure, but I decided to give them to you. Maybe you could look at them as an apology.
"I don't know if you're as scared of your feelings as I am of mine, but I wanted to let you know that I love you. I always will, no matter what happens.
"Love, Mark."
Hotaru just stared at the odd note, her forehead wrinkled in confusion for a minute. It was obvious he felt guilty about something he was going to do, but Hotaru didn't know what it was, except it hinged on their argument about Serenity and their mysterious enemy. . .
The note fell from nerveless fingers as a terrible thought sprang into being in Hotaru's mind. No. He couldn't be. . .She thought about it desperately. He couldn't be. He wouldn't have let those beasts attack her neighborhood. He wouldn't be so kind if he were that monster. She nodded to herself. That's right. He couldn't be. It simply wasn't possible. Having thus reassured herself that he was writing about something else, something she didn't understand right now, but would eventually, Hotaru bent over, put the note back on the table, and leaned out the window that she still hadn't closed. She strained to catch a glimpse of the palace, but all she could see were the two spires, still blacker than coal. That didn't tell her anything. She was about to turn on the DigiTV when she stopped and thought. The senshi kept most of their business off the news as a matter of course. Serenity had ruled with her magic might for a few years, but most people still couldn't understand that the universe was ruled by laws that scientists hadn't discovered yet. The normal citizen couldn't understand the world the senshi lived in. Turning on the news wouldn't tell her anything except that the palace was in turmoil, and she already knew that. That decided, she turned to leave the apartment but she stopped mid-stride, remembering something important. She picked up the earrings Mark had left for her on the table and put them on. That done, she left his apartment, got on the elevator, and rode it to the first floor. She had to get out of the building before she transformed into Sailor Saturn, especially since she didn't know where Mark was, and he could return any second.
As she left she noticed that the rescue crews had cleared out, most of the rubble and mess had been cleaned up as best as possible. Realizing she didn't even know what time it was, she spared a quick glance at her watch as she made her way to an obscure alley and blanched. She'd been asleep for over twelve hours, and the palace hadn't known how to contact her in all that time. Who knows what could have happened while she was sleeping? With that worrisome news foremost in her mind she raised her hand up to catch her wand. "Saturn Crystal Power! Make Up!"
Saturn opened her eyes after transforming to meet the surprised stare of a few alley cats, but other than that her change had gone unnoticed. She set her eyes forward with determination and began to jog toward the palace. She was desperately hoping nothing terrible had happened, but she knew in her heart she wouldn't be so lucky. Guilt leant her more strength than she would have thought possible as she forced herself run flat-out toward the palace. If she got there too late, it wouldn't matter if she had enough strength to battle the enemy.
Saturn ran until her breath burned in her lungs, and the palace finally drew into view. If she'd had the air to spare on it, she would have gasped, but she was simply too worn out to do more than stare. She couldn't see a bit of brightness in the palace. It wasn't just that it was black. It seemed to have become the essence of darkness, pulling light into it until a pall hung over the whole palace compound. Hotaru didn't stop running until she stood in front of the men who now guarded the front entrance of the palace. They regarded her with impassive faces and startled eyes as she lurched to a halt in front of them. She bent over and grasped her knees in a desperate attempt to get enough air into her starving lungs. After a few deep gulps she looked up at the men. "Look back at the palace," she ordered in her most commanding voice. They turned back in worry, afraid they'd missed something, but after a quick scan of the grounds and palace they turned back to her and waited. "Do you see anything out of place here?"
The men looked at each other and shrugged. "No." the said in unison, but didn't bother to ask the questions held in their eyes. Why bother? The senshi were weird by definition. Just go with the flow.
Saturn sighed in frustration at their blindness and began to run again. She wanted to feel confident that everything was all right, since the guards seemed pretty relaxed, but then they hadn't known about the first attack either, so Saturn couldn't allow herself to let down her guard. She pounded down the long corridor that led to the throne room again. She was learning to hate this hallway. . .
She skidded to a stop at the entrance to the throne room. The doors were closed, and the darkness had even encroached here. Saturn wanted to cry out with fear at what this could mean, but she didn't dare give any enemies who were inside warning of her presence. She had to stay strong. She squared her shoulders and reached up to pull her Silence Glaive out of mid-air. She might not have time to snatch it up once she entered. She took a deep breath to steady her nerve. Her legs felt like jelly, and all she really wanted to do was go back to bed, but she put that behind her. She was a Sailor senshi, and this was business. With that preparation, feeble as it was, she gritted her teeth and pulled open the door. For all it's huge size it was surprisingly quiet, and Saturn opened it enough to let her slip into the room without alerting anyone to her entrance. She almost ruined this good fortune by crying out in fear when she took in the scene before her.
The same cloaked figure they'd seen in Mark's apartment building was in the throne room. Sailor Moon and her father, the King, stood inside a glowing white ball. When Saturn looked at it she could feel the energy of it resonate within her--it had to be a shield Serenity had created with Ginzuishou. Venus, Jupiter and Uranus were all lying in pools of blood. It seemed the enemy had dispensed with his coma-inducing technique. Serenity was kneeling in front of the cloaked figure, battered by the battle she'd been waging, and losing, by the appearance of the palace and her dress. She still held Ginzuishou, but her head was bowed low and the slumped line of her shoulders signaled imminent defeat. It seemed the enemy was reading the same things in Serenity's posture that Saturn did. An ominous laugh escaped from the shrouded depths of his cowl. "So, your Majesty. Will you yield? Or will you force me to kill you?"
Serenity raised her head. One of her odangos had become undone, and half of her hair tumbled down over her shoulder as she lifted her eyes to look at him. "Why? Why are you doing this? I've always ruled fairly! My greatest care is for the welfare of the people of this planet. Why do you think I'm an unfit ruler?" Her voice cracked at those words and Saturn had to struggle not reveal her presence and support to her queen.
"I suppose you deserve an explanation." The figure sighed, but Saturn could feel that his eyes were trained on the queen, watchful of any trick she might try to pull. "You often try to be a good monarch, but your very presence on this planet makes all kinds of monsters and evil creatures seek to destroy our world. The fact that you exist here at all is my problem." The head bowed for a second and Saturn tensed in preparation for her attack, but then the figure snapped to attention again. "I'm a time traveler from the future, and I've seen what the effect of your rule on our planet is." A time traveler! That was why he'd taken out Setsuna first, and why she hadn't known any of this was going to happen. It had all depended on the future, which was fluid until it became the present. "You attract attack from every quarter. My family was destroyed in one of those attacks when you repelled the danger away from yourself, but didn't bother to protect the rest of the city. So many died that my family simply became a statistic, not even worthy of official notice!" The tall figure took a step forward and grabbed a fistful of Serenity's hair to lift her face up to look at him. "It's your fault they, and countless others like them, are dead! I won't allow it to happen! I spent years developing a machine that can mimic Sailor Pluto's power over time, and now I'm going to prevent you from ever harming the people of Earth again." Saturn brought shaking hand up to cover her mouth as she looked on the horrible scene. Serenity's eyes were overrun with tears that flowed down her cheeks unchecked and her brows were drawn down in pain, whether from the figure's grip on her hair or his revelations, she didn't know. The enemy loomed over her, muscles bunched in anger under his concealing cape. His hand raised and Saturn gulped and gripped her glaive tighter as she saw energy gather in his palm. She was readying herself for a desperate attempt to deflect his attack on Serenity when the shield around Endymion and Sailor Moon flared.
"Get away from her!" Endymion's sword was already out of it's sheathe as he threw himself through the protective barrier toward the man who was hurting his wife. Sailor Moon had brought out her weapon and was beginning her incantation, fear for her mother's safety written across her face. The figure's cowled head jerked up at the noise and the flaming ball of energy meant to exterminate Serenity was instinctively hurled at her family. Endymion and the Small Lady fell to the ground without another sound. Saturn brought her hand to her mouth to hold back a scream.
"IIE!" Serenity's screech exploded in Saturn's ears. The enemy let go of his hold on her hair in surprise at the sound, and Serenity collapsed into a helpless bout of tears at his feet. She didn't even raise her head as the figure held out his hands to gather another ball of deadly energy. Saturn had to stop him. She took a step forward. His hand cocked back as he got ready to throw, and Saturn raised her glaive into the air. His hand descended and the energy began to fly at Queen Serenity. Saturn took a deep breath and began her own scream.
"No!" Saturn turned her head in surprise. Haruka-papa. Uranus had pulled herself to her feet and was standing. But it was too late--Saturn had already begun her plan.
"Silence Wall!" A wall of purple fire sprang into existence around Saturn's fallen queen even as Uranus threw herself between the fireball and Serenity. It hit her and Uranus was thrown into the wall that protected Serenity. Without a sound she slid down it's surface to fall to the floor. Saturn choked back tears. She'd seen more blood before Uranus had fallen out of sight, but she didn't have time to worry about Haruka. The enemy was already turning toward her. She slammed her glaive into the floor, ignoring the cracks spidering through the marble underfoot, and planted her feet a shoulder width apart, readying herself for anything.
"Ahh, yes. Sailor Saturn." She heard a smug smile in his voice and bristled at the confidence laced throughout his tone, but resisted the urge to yell insults at him. She had to save her strength for what was really important. "You are an interesting and mysterious Sailor senshi." He cocked his head to one side. "But I can even defeat you."
"Not if I beat you first." She raised her glaive and glared at him. "Stop this now, or I will stop it, once and for all. I can wreak destruction the likes of which you've never seen." She turned the glaive, readying her final blow.
"No! Saturn! No! Not that! Don't!" Serenity managed to make it a command instead of a plea. Saturn didn't even turn to look at her, but she did smile grimly. Serenity always managed to give orders at the most inopportune times. Well, this time she wouldn't listen. She didn't dare. Uranus' sacrifice had erased any doubts she'd had. This evil must be destroyed at any cost. At that thought the peace of silence fell over her as she prepared to summon her power.
"Not this time, Serenity-sama. I would rather disobey your order than allow this monster to destroy you."
"But you yourself are going to destroy me!" Serenity's voice became tinged with panic as she reverted to pleading again.
Saturn looked at her with a smile. Some things were impossible for Serenity to understand. Setsuna would have understood if she were here--she understood the patterns of time. "You will never die, Serenity, not really. I don't want to do this," She tried to ease the fear in Serenity's eyes, "but if I have to to stop him, I will." She turned back to her enemy, ignoring the rest of Serenity's cries. "Now, what will it be?" She tensed her muscles, ready to make the glaive fall one final time. She would do her most difficult duty if necessary.
"Neither." The figure raised his dreadful hands again with a quick gesture, and suddenly Saturn felt her energy being drained. Somehow he'd established a channel between them! She tried to fight him off before he siphoned off too much power, but she couldn't find the strength. The last few days had taxed her too much. With a hopeless whimper she collapsed to her knees. The Silence Glaive fell to the marble floor with a clatter. Was this really how it was all going to end? She fought to raise her head and looked into her queen's eyes, trying to convey with them her sorrow at not being able to fulfill her duty. Would Serenity understand?
"Saturn! Saturn! Stop!" Serenity turned to her foe. "Please! It's me you want! Leave her alone! Just take me!"
He closed his fist and Saturn felt her weakness receding. She struggled to gather the remaining tatters of her strength. She had to stop him before it was to late! "Oh no you don't!" Her faint hope faded as the man turned to her with those arrogant words and began pulling her energy from her again. She bit back a cry of pain. She'd had no idea it'd hurt so much! She felt her arms begin to give way. She tried something different just as she collapsed completely to the ground. She released her transformation. Maybe he was only linked to her senshi form. Maybe as Hotaru she could stop him. Neptune had called her Hotaru when she'd said that she was their only hope. Maybe. . .
"Saturn! No!" Serenity's voice cracked with emotion. "No. . .Hotaru. . ." She began to weep brokenly into her hands. Hotaru was still watching the man from the floor, waiting for her doom to break over her. She hadn't really thought becoming Hotaru would work, but it'd been worth a try. She saw his hand begin to descend with a finality that spoke of death, and she considered closing her eyes.
No. She faced him as boldly as she could. I will face this bravely. I was willing to die before. I can face it now.
Amazingly, his hand froze at Serenity's words. "Ho-Hotaru?" The drain on her energy again stopped. She watched him carefully, wondering what was next. "Is that you?" He knelt down next to her, and she tried to see what lay in the shadow over his face, but her vision was already darkening around the edges with exhaustion. She couldn't do it. He reached out. She flinched away from his hand, but all he did was reach out to finger her earlobe. She saw the garnet reflect rays of reddish-purple light onto his robe as he spoke, his voice tinged with wonder. "It is you. You're Sailor Saturn? I-I never knew your identity. You almost never appeared, and somehow your identity as a human was never made public, not even in the future."
Hotaru's pale complexion went chalk-white as she finally allowed herself to recognize his voice. "Mark?" She could barely get that single word out. He reached up and pulled back his cowl. He placed his hands on her cheeks and Hotaru felt energy rushing back into her. After it was all replaced he stood up and took a step back.
Suddenly it all made terrible sense. The couple in the restaurant at lunch had been drained by him in his search for energy. Even--even her own weakness that first night. Had he done that too, only to stop when he realized how physically frail she was? Hotaru struggled to her feet. "Mark? How could you?" She searched his face for an answer. "All those people, the fires, the deaths. . ."
He simply looked at her silently for a minute, his mouth silently working as he sought an answer. Finally he shook his head. "You already heard. I want to stop her. She destroyed my life, and if she destroyed mine, how many others were destroyed that didn't have the power to protest?"
Hotaru shook her head angrily, trying to make him understand. "You don't get it. Serenity attracts evil forces to her simply because she is so good. The only way you could stop such things was if you became. . ." Hotaru choked on what she was going to say next, but forced it out anyway, "if you became evil, like them."
"So. You think I'm evil?" He took a step toward her and she backed away in fear. His lips turned up in a bitter, self-mocking smile. "I see you do. I'm not." He reached up and undid his bulky cape. Underneath he was wearing the same outfit he'd had on the first night they'd met, including his trenchcoat. Hotaru swallowed. She still loved him. She knew he wasn't all evil, or he wouldn't have let her live just now.
"I--I think you've been misled." Mark! Why did it have to turn out this way? Am I not allowed even a scrap of true happiness in my life? "How can you know that this attack of yours that went bad wasn't the attack that killed your family?"
"It couldn't be. I sent myself back to a time before it happened to give myself to meld into society. As soon as I'd collected enough energy I started my plan."
"But your settlement and collection took time, Mark. The disaster you described sounded a lot like this one."
"It can't be! The attack I remember happened in three thousand. . ." His face paled before he even named the year. "Oh my God!" He wore such a hurt expression that Hotaru wanted to reach out to him but before she had a chance Mark's face twisted up with anger. "No. It doesn't matter. She's still the one that sacrificed the city for her own safety. She still needs to be removed from the throne." He turned with determination toward a now unprotected Serenity. Hotaru's Silent Wall had fallen when she'd detransformed. Hotaru cast about her for a way, any way, to stop him from killing Serenity. Her eyes fell to her Silence Glaive. Somehow it hadn't disappeared after she'd become Hotaru again. She swept down to scoop it up off the floor and in one smooth turn she stabbed Mark in the back with it. He made a strange choking sound and fell forward, onto his face. With a forlorn cry Hotaru dropped her weapon and rushed to his side and turned him over. He looked at her, puzzlement in his bright, bright blue eyes. "Why? I-" he reached up to finger the garnet earrings again. "I thought you loved me."
Hotaru felt tears begin to fall but ignored them as he was wracked with a fit of wet coughing, so like her fit the first night they'd met. "I did. I do. Only. . ." She wiped his sweat-soaked hair out of his eyes. They were beginning to dim. "Only, I loved my queen more." He kept his eyes on her face, but didn't say anything more. She fought off her urge to heal him. Duty came first. She watched the last light begin to fade from his eyes and when she saw his chest become still she whispered sadly, "Now, I have nothing but duty left."
A warm hand fell on her shoulder. She looked up. Serenity. "You'll find something other than duty, Hotaru."
A brief flash of hatred overcame Hotaru and she turned back to Mark before Serenity could see it. What did the queen know? She had love, she had family, she had friends, she had everything. Hotaru choked back her unworthy thoughts and slowly placed Mark's body down on the floor. She stood up, picked up her blood soaked glaive, and left the room without another word.
Hotaru walked out of the palace, not even stopping to notice it had reverted to it's usual sparkling clear crystal. She purposefully strode off the palace grounds and didn't stop until she stood at the riverbank where she and Usagi had had that picnic a couple days ago. A lifetime ago. She gazed into the swift water for a long time, just looking, not thinking. Finally she reached up and took off the earrings Mark had left her. She held them in her hands and watched them wink at her. The red light of the setting sun sent sparkles red as blood into her eyes, and suddenly she couldn't stand to look at them any longer. Without a word she hurled them angrily into the river. Everything was gone. Everything. She sat down in the bank and contemplated the water, changing from blood to wine as the setting sun changed from bright red to a deep burgundy.
The sun had been gone for quite a while before she felt a hand descend to her shoulder. She looked up into Haruka's face, filled with understanding. Bile rose in Hotaru's throat as she also saw pity reflected there. She turned farther to catch a glimpse of everyone watching her. What a motley crew they all made after this last battle! Bandages and torn clothing abounded. While it was nice to know everyone was alive, she couldn't deal with them right now. Hotaru turned away from all of them without a word and stared off into the star studded sky.
A bundle of cloth was dropped into her lap by Haruka as she walked off, and Hotaru looked down in surprise. Damn. It seemed that Mark wouldn't let her forget him after all. She held his trenchcoat to her chest for a second. Then, with trembling fingers, she held up the torn back, crusted with blood at the edges of a long ragged cut. She could still catch his scent on it. His warmth clung to the grey threads. Still silent, she bowed her head over the coat and began to weep. She couldn't say anything. Words just couldn't encompass all that she felt.
"Mother, why won't she talk to us?" She heard the concern in Usagi's voice but ignored her. Later she could be a friend to the Small Lady, but right now she was too busy grieving.
"I don't know dear. Maybe she'll tell us all about it later." Serenity's response revealed that she too didn't understand.
Hotaru didn't think any of them could understand, and she knew they would all be concerned about her for a long time, but she resolved that she'd never speak of the time she and Mark had had together. It had all been too beautiful. Speech would only ruin it. She'd never say a word about it, ever. They just didn't understand the one truth she alone understood as the senshi of silence.
Silence was the greatest passion of all.
*****